The Benefits of Waiting for Sex (Beyond Hell Fire & Brimstone)
As a woman who is very open about my history of engaging in sex before marriage, it was a huge change for me to adopt a celibate lifestyle once I gave my heart to Christ. I didn’t grow up going to church and learning about the value of my body and knowing my worth. My examples of womanhood, for the most part, looked much different from what the word of God says.
For a long time, I didn’t realize it was even possible to carry on a happy and healthy relationship without sex being a part of it. Waiting was a completely foreign concept to me and honestly, I thought it was a recipe for disaster.
Though I am not proud of my misguided years, I do not hide them because I know many women out there are still trapped in wrong thinking.
When I was, for so long, where they still are, I could not for the life of me wrap my mind around the idea of not sharing in physical intimacy as an overall part of figuring out if I had chemistry with a person. It was the age old “Try the shoe on before you buy it” theory and it made complete sense to me. My girlfriends and I thought our men needed to be able to show that they could please us sexually before we gave ourselves all the way over to him emotionally.
That was then.
After the Lord saved me from sin and destructive habits, and renewed my mind totally, I began living according to His word. So I adopted a celibate lifestyle.
The change, however, required that I surround myself with others who were striving to live righteously according to God’s word. My old friends were not at all interested in my “weird” new ideas and philosophies. Some of them could no longer relate to me. They called me a “nun,” a “prude,” and a “holy-roller.” Even though I chose to walk away from those unhealthy friendships, even if I didn’t, the relationships would have eventually dissolved simply because we had nothing in common anymore.
I remember searching diligently for inspiration and encouragement from other women who had successfully given up their sexually active lifestyle to wait for their God-sent husband. I wanted to read, hear, and see as many examples as possible.
In my quest, I ran into a lot of women who told me how sex before marriage is a sin and it defiles my temple. While I knew those things were very true and supported by the word of God, I was still looking for practical answers in addition to what I read in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20. I yearned to see a woman who had been broken like me, really broken, and discovered that a sex-free lifestyle was better, beyond hell fire and brimstone.
Thank God He sent women into my life that were not ashamed to be honest about where they came from. Some of my mentors were discovered in my local church and community. Others I found through Christian resources recommended by the spiritual leaders that helped me grow and change by the grace of God.
I still enjoy hearing from people who are now walking in purity.
That’s why I made sure to watch the video interview where Christian actress, Meagan Good, talked to “Voice of Hope” about no sex before marriage. A friend of mine from church emailed the link to me. I listened very carefully to what Good, who married preacher and Hollywood executive DeVon Franklin in June, had to say about the benefits of celibacy. "One of the things I noticed right off the bat is I had more clarity, I had more self-worth, I had more peace of mind and I just was a lot more relaxed and sure of myself… and also more sure of his feelings for me, " she said. “It just made everything a lot easier in the sense of trusting that, ‘Wow, this is an awesome relationship. This is God-sent.”
According to the “Think Like a Man” actress, waiting for sex helped avoid unnecessary confusion, drama, and negativity in the relationship. “There was no confusion,” Good shared. When you bring sex into a relationship, you bring confusion into the relationship and it becomes about possession over that person’s body,” which she believes leads to obsessive and unhealthy behaviors.
Meagan Good is a true example of how possible it truly is to date and wait for sex, and make such a big adjustment.
Though I am yet waiting on God for my husband, I can honestly say taking sex out of the equation has helped me avoid falling into the arms of men who are after only “one thing.”
Saying no to getting between the sheets has been a very positive and effective way to weed out the shady players seeking to take advantage of me. Celibacy also helps me focus on getting to know people for who they are, instead of being mesmerized by what they can do to satisfy my fleshly lusts.
Waiting has been a tremendous blessing in my life!
What about you? What are your thoughts about the benefits of waiting beyond hell fire and brimstone? What words of wisdom can you share about this subject?
29 Comments
Reader Comments (29)
it makes things difficult, even if you dont 'go all the way' when you focus on the physical you can't get to know someone their inside and out. When you defraud someone you are stealing from them what is only men for their spouse and you miss out. If you wait, it makes your relationship stronger and you have confidence in knowing this person is not only about one thing. I felt better about myself, although sometimes guys would reject me because that's all they were about so sometimes it can be hard, but my relationship with GOD is better and He is showing me what love is really about.
I remember i even had this minister trying to get me into the sheets so bad, he kept trying to convince me that GOD wasn't saying no sex before marriage, he was saying no sleeping around, and if we're planning to just be together and no one else, it was ok, im so thankful i stuck to my guns and said no way, he just sounded like a fraud in my book, long story short, after saying no i wanted to wait, he soon, moved on past me, and im thankful that i got to see the real him
Thank you for the article and I will watch the video but I hoped to get practical suggestions and ideas on how to keep myself pure. The true is Im going through a mental and physical battle right now. Simply put-I miss being physically intimate with a man. Since I don't have a boyfriend, I cannot blame on him or anyone else. But seriously, my hormones are raging and sometimes, I just have to speak to myself very nicely to think about something else and to do something else. But what if I come across this attractive guy and I let my guards down? I mean, this is my biggest fear because it already happened. I just feel so weak these past few months and I feel like Im starving for a man's touch. Kill the flesh daily. I surely try. I speak myself out from the thoughts but what else can I do, may I ask? Im not sure to whom I should talk. So many ppl have disappointed me and Im not quite ready to share this intimate struggle with anyone. I have never done that either. I mean Im just hopeless and helpless about the whole deal. BUT I want to do GOD's will. GOD actually revealed to me He wants to be my Soulmate. I mean, not that I will never get married but He wants a deep relationship with me. We had one but I think we want to take me at another level. So, He also revealed to me that this will be wrong for the both of us if I ever 'cheat' on Him again. Meaning engaging in sexual manner with a man. This made sense because if I was ever married, my husband will feel the same. So Im not waiting for my husband only, but Im waiting to show GOD how much I love Him too and I want to remain faithful to Him, always.
I have been for quite some time now over 5 years and I too agree with Meagan about being drama free. It is difficult because we are sexual creatures. We desire a man touch and kiss and his attention from time to time; and it can get lonely. My friends whether there active or not have always been supportive. It's men I find that usually mock me on my choice, but I know that my choice is also God's choice. Look at it this way, the pure life I lead before my children is a BIG teacher. There aware of my lifestyle and I believe it's because of how I live they will not be in a rush to have sex themselves. Teaching begins at home and as the ultimate role model I want to show my children a Godly way to live. I have peace of mind and I have joy. Yes there are time where I miss the company of a man, but I know the one God has for me is worth the wait.
Hi Ladies,
I can certainly relate to all of you on this issue because I have been in all of these places. About nine years ago, I made a quality decision that it was time for me to get serious about no fornication. At first, it was hard because I stumbled a lot. I kept getting back up and trying to walk it out. As I walked, I started yielding to the Holy Spirit and it got easier and easier. I asked God to show me why I kept stumbling and this is what He said to me “Tamara, you know your flesh is weak and you have not yet learned to get it under control. Until you do, don’t put yourself in those situations where you have to fight it because right now, you are loosing that battle.” Ladies, that’s just what I did. I backed away from anyone and anything that could ignite that fight in me. Some guys didn’t take me seriously but when they saw I was serious, they backed off. Now when I say anything, I mean anything—books, movies, tv, conversations—all of it! See, everything we take in is a seed. One little scene in a movie could wreck your progress and send you all the way backwards. Or a conversation can create images that cause you to stumble. Nobody is going to protect your celibacy but you. I started filling my life with Godly things and TRULY Godly people! As the years went on, my flesh began to back down because I was no longer feeding in any way. What you feed will grow and what you starve will die. Did my desire go away? No. I simply put my desire in its place.
I’ve been celibate for years. I had some really tough days but I didn’t yield to it because there is a greater glory to be had. Now, one might be saying “well yeah, it’s easy for you because you are not in a relationship.” Ah, yes I am. I’ve been in relationship for about 6 months and one major lesson I’ve learned is that if you don’t get your flesh under control in this area while you’re single, as well as other areas, you will not have it under control when the man comes. My pastor once said “The time to perform is not the time to prepare.” We’ve never even had any close calls and here’s why:
1) Both of us TRULY love God more than we love each other and we want to always honor Him
2) I had already established my policies of things that I was NOT going to do. But, the beauty of this is that I’ve never had to enforce any of them because my sweetie has his own policies. For example, we have a curfew—he does not stay to my house past a certain time. HE established that, not me. A true man of God will honor God first and by default that means he’s honoring you.
3) We both agreed that we will not kiss in ANY way until we get married. Our first kiss will be at the altar. See, for me I KNOW where kissing will lead me and again, I choose NOT to have that fight. Our lips have so much as not even graced each other’s face. We hold hands and hug and even our hugs are safeguarded.
4) I do not have a need to test drive NOBODY because if I trust God to send me my husband, then I have to trust that He took care of that part too.
5) We do not spend very much time alone. My children are always around us. I am living the example right in front of my children, especially my daughter.
I am very grateful that I had a lot of years to get this in check and live out a successfully single and happy life. The benefits are that I know we love each other based on the purity of our heart and NOT what we can do for each other. We don’t have to deal with drama because we are honoring God first. We are getting to know each other more and more on a deeper level that doesn’t involve flesh. (Sidenote: Putting your flesh in relationships is more than just being sexual. The flesh profits nothing!) He is TRULY my first in EVERY way because my life is brand new! I am so glad I trusted and waited on God. Hallelujah! Ladies, with GOD, ALL things are possible! Luke 1:37!
@jesslynn your message reallly blessed me i am going through thiz too because i am not married but what you said about,"cheating on God really blessed me i mean if i cant be faithful to Him how will i ever be to my husband. I simply wish i had been told about being holy as a youth it hurts seeing all my exes married and they have a legitimate place to put their desires and i may never have any but i rest that maybe i can do more for God but i do desire to b married only in God s way i can hold out ic i know its coming but what what if God chooses not to bless me, how can i hold out i guess thats the time when the devil has a field day with my mind. But you really hzve to Want to not offend God more than yiu want what you want its a sacrifice. I hope God wilk help me.
@Tamara: Thank you so much for your advice!That's what I needed!I will surely print everything you said. Last week, I also realozed that I will forbide kissing any date from now on. I feel as that's just enough to put me on fire now! LOL At any rate 1000 thanks for your practical advice. I mean, I knew about all of that but knowning someone actually lived up to these expectations, for me it's a huge testimony. I think it's time for me to prepare myself for purity. I believe that the time for me to get married has not come yet but it will, in Jesus' name. I think the Lord wants more of me, again. So, I've decided to do more than going to Sunday Church services at the local Church I joined a few weeks ago. Amen to your testimony Tamara!GOD bless you!
@wow: Hey!Did you check Tamara's post?She got good news for us. Im glad my post was a blessing for you. I will pray that the Lord keeps you but remember, you've to do your part. And Tamara has given us great advice on how to go about it. Hold on to the Lord because He has great plans for you. Don't let the devil steal your blessing!
Praise God that you all were blessed by what the Lord lead me to share. We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. (Rev 12:11) So I will always share my testimonies to encourage others. Getting involved in ministry is very vital and important to spiritual growth. It helps develop a servant's heart. You also want your future husband to serve as well because if he is not serving in ministry, he will not serve you as your husband. And the same goes for us!!
In those times of being alone, pull on Him for strength to keep going. My verses during this time were Psalms 27:13-14. Speak this over your life everyday as you seek to transform your life. Also speak Romans 12:2 about renewing your mind daily. The more your spirit is strengthened, you will being to see potential pitfalls on your journey in celibacy and turn away from them before you even have a chance to stumble. It will get easier at times goes on because your focus will shift. Now, I did have some hard days from time to time, especially around the holidays. If I had to cry to God about how I was feeling, I did that but I always knew no matter how my body was acting out, I would keep honoring Him no matter what.
I pray for strength for each of you. I speak that God's perfect will according to His word be done in the lives of each of you. I pray that He surrounds you all with Titus 2 women who will love you, teach you and guide you as you grow in the Lord. I speak that the Lord holds you so close to His bosom that your husbands will have to be in Him to discover you. I speak a phenomenal blessing over your lives. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
@Jesslynn..I just read your post on another article, the one on God opening your eyes. Sweetie, I know it took a lot to walk away from that situation and it is not always easy to break off an engagement. Praise God for your strength and courage to do what you know what you had to do. I’ve often prayed to God “Lord, I don’t want to do what I know I need to do so PLEASE strengthen me to do it.” Recovering from hurtful relationships can be a minute by minute process. I know, I’ve been there! Glory to God for your time of healing, redemption and discovery of who God really made Jesslynnto be!
Everytime I read your post, I become that much more powerful in becoming celibate. However this is not an easy task. I was practicing abstinence which is different from celibacy. Ithought that if I retrain myself from having sex that it would make me feel more like a christain. But I was wrong. For several months now I was restraining from any sexual partners since the break up with my ex. However I I recently found myself back with my ex, and now feel like I am starting from day one. But see what I get from celibacy is keep one self whole. Sex should be considered a prize to be won, byt two persons who love each other in God light. Being deserving, not desired. This is hard, I pray for God to continue to heal my heart and push me to move on.
I am so inspired by reading this blog especially listening to Tamara D. I am only 22 yrs I've just rededicated my life to God and my boyfriend of 5 years had done this too in efforts of us living a celibate life. Now we are not together because he lost his strength of fighting against temptation and I am really struggling to follow through with the decision we both originally made together. I love him so much and this is the hardest thing I've ever done. However reading these blogs has gave me strength to stick to my guns and fight through this feeling of loneliness and depression. It is also even harder because im trying to remain focus on my school work.
Lady C, I commend you for making a quality decision to live for Christ. One thing I’ve personally learned is that when God begins to move your life forward, your circle will change. No one will defend or protect your decision except for you. Take it one day at a time, take it minute by minute if you have to. I remember when I was severely hurt by an ex, I felt like the air had left my lungs! I literally found myself thanking God for getting me though the next minute because the pain was so bad I didn’t know how I was going to make it to the next day. I found myself saying “Lord thank you for getting me through the next minute.” If you have to do that, do it. But remember this, each day that you wake up, make a decision that you are not going to stay where you are emotionally, mentality, or spiritually.
Now is the time to invest in your relationship with Christ for YOU. You have to make sure that you are devoted to Christ and your new life for YOU, not your boyfriend. I’m going to tell you like my pastor told us: if you start running with the Lord and you look back and the guy is not there running with you, he has to go. Keep moving forward! If you stop moving, you stop moving. Psalms 27:13-14 are scriptures keep near to my heart to remind me that waiting on God has its rewards and HE WILL strengthen my heart.
I am glad to read so many encouraging comments concerning trying to walk pure before the Lord. I'm reminded of a few insights I heard/learned along the way. It is so hard to look in the future to truly understand the benefits of waiting, but I would encourage anyone to continue to strive for it.
I want to share another side of learning to wait. Now I know, if a person does not learn to get control of their desires (or possess their vessel in godliness) while single it could change from committing "fornication" to committing "adultery". It's the same undisciplined act. And as in singleness, there will be plenty of times that each partner will need to trust the other. Times in just every day life will call for you to know how to control yourself not to mention time apart, travel, and etc. Unfortunately, many think marriage will solve the desire for physical touch and sexual pleasure and it will. However, it will not replace the need to learn to develop self control like the fruit of the spirit denotes we need. But if sexual discipline isn't practiced while single there is no guaranty there will be disciple in marriage. Marriage will not stop other women or men from looking good. If you won't say they are not mine now you will not necessary say it after the pretty wedding dress. Nor will being in a relationship help when your partner/spouse is MAD at you. There could be a time of just getting away for a little space during a disagreement and bam there is temptation. (Remember the important issue is they are upset with YOU). You definitely want your spouse/partner to have self control, plus love God and desire to obey Him more than love you.
Disciple in the area of sexual purity is going to be needed period. May those on this journey be determined no matter what to want to honor the Lord in this way. I know it is not easy but am a witness that it is worth it. Thus, the benefits of practicing now are numerous. The work that is put in now will yield the benefits of sexual disciple, fortitude, and less regrets in the future. Know that some that have gone before you are cheering you on...
Barb, you raised some VERY good points! Well said, well said.
@anonymous Love THIS: “My relationship with GOD is better and He is showing me what love is really about.” Amen!!
@ Tiana Renee I’m glad you shared this because when I first came into the church I wasn’t as aware as I am now of the “wolves in sheep’s clothing” so I was SHOCKED when I discovered how slick lots of men in the church tried to be. Thank God for wisdom! Wonderful comment.
@Jesslynn Any woman who has been intimate with a man before and enjoyed the intimacy can relate to your struggle. I personally can! Here are some practical things I did:
1. I changed my music habits. I was a big fan of that love-making music and it just made me weak. I stopped listening.
2. I changed my entertainment. Still, to this day I don’t watch everything because I don’t think I should be starting fires with no firefighter to put them out.
3. I started changing my reading habits. Instead of novels, I picked up the word of God consistently.
4. I started journaling. Writing out my feelings and being honest helped, and then praying over those issues was very cathartic for me. I really suggest it.
5. Get connected to others who are accountable. No one should go through their journey alone. If you don’t know of anyone, ask God to send others into your life that can help you be accountable and stay pure.
These are just some of the steps I took. Hope this has been helpful. I’m praying for you!
@Unknown Beautifully put! “I know that my choice is also God's choice.”
@Tamara You said SO MANY good things. I love this: “Everything we take in is a seed.” We have to be careful what is being planted in us. Great comment and wonderful feedback you shared with the ladies.
@Kisha You are right about being “whole” as a person, because if we are not, we will slip back into old habits and patterns. Wholeness goes beyond just abstaining from sex, which, of course is God’s will for us to remain abstinent until marriage. But wholeness has to do with releasing emotional baggage, the hurts of our past, and letting God repair every broken place that causes us to settle for less than we should have in Him!
@lady c I am rejoicing over what God is doing for you! Stay strong. The Lord will empower you to stand.
@barb You keyed in on such an important point: DISCIPLINE. We need it! Without it, we will succumb. Thanks for this.
I'm 26 y/o and I'm a virgin. And you know what? I'm slowly starting to see that there aren't benefits to waiting. Actually, I'm pretty angry that I'm still a virgin (i thank God I've never been raped though). One of the drawbacks is that I can't have gynocological exams (not to mention emotional or pyscological drawbacks). Honestly, I'm starting to think I'm just going to sleep with the next decent guy that comes along. Waiting is too hard. I don't want to be like these 30 and 40 and 50-something year old rare virgin cases. There's no life or beauty in that. I used to think so, but I'm slowly starting to reconsider. Life is too short. Looks to me that those who don't obey are the ones who are being blessed with the very things I want (children and a husband). Now what?
God’s Property, I know waiting is hard and during this time of endurance, it is imperative that you stand on the Word. I know it always seems like people who are doing what you really want to do have it so much better. The truth of the matter is that that is not always the case. They may very well be walking in righteousness and have their harvest but you don’t know what kind of seed they had to sow to reap their harvest. You don’t know how much prayer they committed to God, who/what they had to cut off, how much temptation they had to fight off, etc. Keep your focus on Him (up) and not on others (sideways).
God honors faithfulness. There is so much you don’t have to worry about still being a virgin, like diseases, unplanned pregnancies and the emotional turmoil and torment that comes with fornication. I’ve been on both sides and knowing what I know now, waiting is a whole lot better. I have so much peace in my life because I am no longer under the bondage of fornication. Do not sell your self short. Your name says God’s Property. That means you belong to Him and He will see to it that you are honored for living a life for Him. Again, Psalms 27:13-14 are my go to scriptures when I feel impatience trying to set it.
At 26, I was divorced with two small children, living a rebellious life because I was still hurting from an abusive marriage. Baby, you are in the Kingdom of God at 26 and that my dear, is cause for celebration! Giving in to your flesh will bring you heartache that you are not ready to handle yet. (Galatians 6:8). Trust me when I tell you this. I am not telling you what I heard, I am telling you what I’ve lived.
You are set apart so that means you are NOT supposed to be like other women. Those of us reading this will tell you that we wish we’d waited. GP, let patience have its perfect work, complete, whole so that YOU will not lack anything. James 1:4. You are the owner of a beautiful gift—virginity—so treasure it like the jewel that it is and the jewel that YOU are!
Thanks Tamara, I really appreciate your kind words. However, I'm afraid you don't know. There's a difference between being celibate after fornicating vs. being a virgin your entire life. There's a big difference and I don't think many people can understand that. =(
You're right. Perhaps I don't know exactly how you feel in that respect. My prayer is that God will place the right lady or ladies in your life who are living like you are and have overcome where you are. I am sure that will encourage you to keep going and completely trust in Him.
=) Yeah, I know quite a few. The only problem is none of them are married either which is quite frightening and is making me begin to question a lot of things. But God, right?
Nevertheless, thank you for taking the time out to offer comforting words. Very sweet of you.
God's Property,
The Word of God is filled with the testimony of men and women...not so that we can just read it and say "Oh, wow", but so that we could learn from them and if mistakes were made (King David for example) we learn from those mistakes. I say that just to point out that we don't have to experience everything to see whether the outcome will be good or bad.
I'm sadly not a virgin and don't know where you are coming from in that perspective, but you know what? I didn't have to smoke crack to realize that was not the path I wanted to go down because countless testimonies have been laid before me in order for me to make a smart decision...and you don't have to have sex outside of marriage because countless testimonies of women who wish they had waited have been laid before you in order that you may stand firm and keep making the smarter decision. Tamara said it best when she quoted scripture by saying, "We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony." (Rev 12:11)
I have yet to find a woman who has had sex before marriage say that they are glad they didn't wait. I pray that you seek God first through prayer and His Word on this and that He may also continue to expose you to countless testimonies that will encourage you in your stance.
Very well said Shalonda!!
God's Property, everything we take in is a seed and we MUST take EVERY thought captive that is not in line with God and His word. I am saying this because a seed has been planted somewhere to make you THINK that waiting is not good and that waiting is hard. As my Pastor said "Think about what you're thinking about." You WILL have a husband and children also. I know you are looking at your friends who didn't wait but please take your eyes off the "wicked". ONLY those things done in God will last and bear much good fruit.
I encourage you to WORSHIP God right now. Tell Him how good HE is and worship Him for who He is, not for what He's done for you or anybody. Just focus on HIS goodness and His majestical nature. I guarantee when you enter in through worship, your focus will shift!
I hear you, Tamara D. and Shalonda. Loud and clear. I'll admit that reading your responses did bring a little bit of comfort to my heart and a smile or two to my face. Thanks for that. Today I'm in a good place. I'm going about the business the Lord has for me. Hopefully, I can say the same about my tomorrow. I have good days and I have bad days. I realize that when I start feeling anxious about my life (current sexual status and and all) it is the devil at work. However, it's also me being human. I hear you, Shalonda, but hear me too. Not waiting isn't good, but waiting (especially for older women) carries another class of burdens too. Thankfully, today I am not as overcomed by those feelings as I was earlier this week. Sisters, continue to pray for me and women like me and I'll do the same for you. Believe me when I tell you, it isn't easy especially when there are little to no examples of grown (real grown,not early 20-something year olds) adult virgins finding love and marriages. I read an article the other day that suggested that just as pop culture plays a role of idolizing unreal ideas of marriage and love, perhaps we do so in the church as well by idolizing marriages and purity. Whatever the case. I want to be married. I want to be a mother among several other personal goals of mine. I'm trusting that the Lord will grant me my heart's deepest desires and more. I just pray for the grace to wait. I want to serve Him with my entire life, but I'm not a eunich you know and neither do I wish to be.
God's Property, no matter the issue, God's Word will help you through ANYTHING! So, let's strengthen up your armor shuga:
Psalms 27:13-14 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. 14 Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Psalms 37:14 Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart
1 Peter 5:7 AMP Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully
Mark 11:24 Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.
Philippians 4:6-8 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.
Of course you have days when the desire is so strong that is nearly consumes you. I have days like that too. Please don't rush God and don't think you are running out of time. You are only 26 years old. Age is of no issue to God. Just read about Abraham and Sarah (what happened when they didn't wait and what happened when they did).
Praise God that you are better this week than last. I will cheer you on to victory and right now, stop and say "God, I'm so glad I waited on you." Say it. And every time you feel the anxiety coming, get a good Word! (Proverbs 12:25) Again, say that as many times a day that you have to. God will make everything beautiful in its time! Ecc 3:11. You can do it! I believe you can! When satan starts talking to you, talk back to him with THE WORD!!! He can't stand up to that. You have authority over your body so tell it to settle down and come in to alignment with God's Word. Worked for me!
Go forward in victory!
God's Property,
I will definitely keep you in prayer. When I think about your situation I think about Psalm 73. The psalmist had a similar dilemma when he saw people who were not obeying the Lord prosper...please read it because I think it will give you much more hope and encouragement than any of us alone can. God's Word is so powerful!
Psalm 73:2–26
"2 But as for me, I almost lost my footing.
My feet were slipping, and I was almost gone.
3 For I envied the proud
when I saw them prosper despite their wickedness.
4 They seem to live such painless lives;
their bodies are so healthy and strong.
5 They don’t have troubles like other people;
they’re not plagued with problems like everyone else.
6 They wear pride like a jeweled necklace
and clothe themselves with cruelty.
7 These fat cats have everything
their hearts could ever wish for!
8 They scoff and speak only evil;
in their pride they seek to crush others.
9 They boast against the very heavens,
and their words strut throughout the earth.
10 And so the people are dismayed and confused,
drinking in all their words.
11 “What does God know?” they ask.
“Does the Most High even know what’s happening?”
12 Look at these wicked people—
enjoying a life of ease while their riches multiply.
13 Did I keep my heart pure for nothing?
Did I keep myself innocent for no reason?
14 I get nothing but trouble all day long;
every morning brings me pain.
15 If I had really spoken this way to others,
I would have been a traitor to your people.
16 So I tried to understand why the wicked prosper.
But what a difficult task it is!
17 Then I went into your sanctuary, O God,
and I finally understood the destiny of the wicked.
18 Truly, you put them on a slippery path
and send them sliding over the cliff to destruction.
19 In an instant they are destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors.
20 When you arise, O Lord,
you will laugh at their silly ideas
as a person laughs at dreams in the morning.
21 Then I realized that my heart was bitter,
and I was all torn up inside.
22 I was so foolish and ignorant—
I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you.
23 Yet I still belong to you;
you hold my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
leading me to a glorious destiny.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
I desire you more than anything on earth.
26 My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever."