Don't Let It Rule You: You Have the Power!
Do you remember Paula Patton's character in the rom com "Jumping the Broom"? Well, for most of my adult dating life, I was her before the vow of celibacy. For a long time, it didn't occur to me that I had the power to resist urges and make better judgment calls, at least not until I met a man named Jesus. That's when everything in my life changed.
Since my transformation, I do everything in my power to stay on the straight and narrow path, which is why I have so many emails still to check this week. You see, I have been on a two-week long “Internet fast.”
It all began with a voluntary challenge our pastor posed, specifically aimed toward those of us who are a part of the singles ministry. We were encouraged to fast from something we really enjoy for a two-week period, as a way of training ourselves not to gratify our flesh, even when we want to.
Oh boy.
Our pastor told us to let 1 Corinthians 9:27 be our guide: “But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.”
He told us that leading a lifestyle of discipline is important and necessary in every area, not just one. “The more you train your flesh to understand that it must be ruled by your spirit and will not rule over you,” he said, “you will find new strength to resist temptation when it manifests in its many different forms.”
I thought, “Wow, that’s good stuff right there.”
As a woman who was once very sexually active and made terribly poor relationship choices as I have mentioned in my column many times before, I am always looking for ways to continually grow as I wait on God for the right man and lead a celibate lifestyle. I don’t ever want to get too comfortable thinking I have it all under control and then find myself slipping up.
I know where God brought me from and I take my walk with Him very seriously. As a single woman, you have to know yourself.
So I figured I had nothing to lose with this discipline exercise; the suggestion sounded like a great idea to me.
Besides, I love a good challenge, which is why I decided to unplug from the Internet totally—a major sacrifice! This fast of mine came at the perfect time, too, because I was already approved for two weeks of vacation time from work that I had requested earlier in the year.
Since I didn't have to have to do any work or check emails, it seemed like just the right moment.
I had no idea how hard this fast was going to be!
After about a day or two, I was going through terrible withdrawal. I felt like I had completely unplugged from the world around me. I didn’t know how attached I was to the Internet until I was restricted from accessing it.
I thought I was going to go crazy!
But I was determined to see this challenge through.
I began getting up extra early, praying and getting into my word before settling into my daily routine. The closer I drew to God, the more He began dealing with me about me and how good this whole thing would be for my resolve.
One day, during my Bible study time, I was reading Romans 6:12 that says, “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.”
As I wrote in my journal, my mind went back to a time when I felt like I could not control my flesh. Even though I constantly promised “the last time was the last time,” I found myself in compromising positions, giving away my body, and being angry about my personal failings and shortcomings.
The guilt and shame would always be the worst, because I knew deep down I was better than that. I deserved more. I was worthy of true love and respect.
I was tired.
I couldn’t understand why I kept making poor relationship choices. Why wasn't I stronger? Even after I cried, got frustrated and vowed to “never do that again,” somehow, I found myself making the same dumb mistakes.
That cycle didn’t break until I laid everything at Jesus' feet: my life; my will; my thoughts; my hopes; my dreams; my sorrows; my failures; the pain of my past; and everything I am, am not, and ever hope to be.
I just gave it all to the Lord and He took my mess and made it a message.
I gave up the toxic relationships and broke the unhealthy cycles only by His grace and power! It was too hard on my own, but I was able to do all things through Christ.
Well, after the Lord reminded me of where He brought me from during my devotion, that’s when the reason why I was fasting came into focus with even more clarity than before. And I made it through!
It was my way of saying to God and myself, “Nothing and no one, other than the Lord Himself, will ever have a hold on me that I cannot break!”
Make that same declaration in your own life.
Make up your mind that no matter how hard it is to say no, how much your flesh wants to say yes, or how much pressure comes against you to try to make you cave in, do not allow lust, sin, the allure of self-indulgence, or the temptation to compromise your standards rule you.
This goes beyond sex. It applies to any area pertaining to your single life where you know you are not living up to your full potential in Christ.
God is your only Master and He has given you power to stand. Again, don't let anything else rule you.
Use your power!
If God can help this once messed-up lost soul get free, He can do it for anybody, and I do mean anybody.
4 Comments
Reader Comments (4)
I took a week break from social media myself & it was so hard! I did find myself bored but so much more relaxed after I got over the intial shock. This article really spoke to my heart!
Amen Ashley its great you have come to that peace. I struggled with the on n off again falling it wasnt til i made up my mind that even if God never blessed with a husband i will obey Him as best as i can. I had to it didnt work for to think oh if I wait then God will bless me to b able to do whatever i want bc its not tru even when im married my body belong to him. Its like with anything sinful its the root which is rebellio against God but the thing wjtn sex is there are so many negative consequences to sex apart from marriGe including death. If i eat too many chips i may not die today but eventually. Also support system i join a purity group in my area and to know that i would disappoint so many people and have an accountablity group makes it sooooo much easier to do this when it gets hard.
@God's Gift I understand how you feel! I had no idea how difficult that would be for me. I'm so glad I did it though! Praise God that this article spoke to you. Thanks for the feedback!
@wow For me, accountability has been so important! I love that you're connected to good people who are helping. Without a support system, I KNOW the change God has taken me through would not have been possible. Thanks for reading the column. We're staying strong together! God bless you.
Hello I ran across this article while surfing the web and I couldnt have read it at a better time. I was recently divorced a few months ago but has been seperated for about 1 1/2 yr after a 12yr marriage. I find myself making horrible relationship choices and selling myself short when I know Im way better than that. I find myself looking for love I guess in the wrong place and instead of me drawing near to God I feel Im getting further and further away from Him. Doing things that I know are not pleasing in His sight but its like I cant resist the gratification of my own flesh. I need that support and accountability , where are the groups in the Dallas area? I just want to be happy again I want to be able to love again.