We all make mistakes, so why do we feel so much shame when we make them?  Despite the fact that we’ve all made thousands of them, we often feel as if others won’t understand our shortcomings.   Worse still, we can be downright merciless when judging the errors and faults of others.

As humans, we know that making mistakes is inevitable, but when it happens many of us find it hard to rebound.  Sometimes we get stuck deriding ourselves and find it difficult to move forward.  The hard thing about making a mistake is that despite how much you learn and educate yourself….you will make another one! 

Mistakes can be made out of ignorance or carelessness.  The ones made out of ignorance, are often called honest mistakes.  The use of the word honest somehow implies that in order for other types of mistakes to be made, there must be a degree of malice in our motivations and intents.  The careless mistake implies that the error was avoidable.

Regardless of how, or why, we make them, there is a healthy pattern for dealing with the times when we fall short.  We are to own up to our mistakes, reaffirm our relationships, learn the lessons and move on healthily.  In order to rebound, we must take the time to go through each step, making the necessary adjustments along the way.  We may need to change our attitude or the way we do things.  

Here are the steps for your consideration:

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Move Towards Your Dreams!

I have failed at a lot of things in my life.  In fact, I dare say I have probably failed at more than I have achieved.   Life isn’t what I thought it would be and I don’t know if that is what bothers me.  I think what bothers me sometimes is that life is not what I am capable of making it—even now.

Like many of you, I have some “must dos” and some unfulfilled “want tos” in my life.  The “must dos” are my responsibilities and the things I’m required to do—such as having a 9 to 5 that can be unfulfilling.  Too often, my “must dos” seem to choke the “want tos” out of my life.

A few months ago, I finally stopped wrestling with the “must dos.”  I’d found the perfect job for me. I applied.  I interviewed and was convinced it was mine.  All the while, at the back of my mind, I kept thinking about my company and my coaching business.  I told myself that I’d give those areas of my life more attention eventually.  I waited for close to a month and then finally, the dreaded…”You are qualified, but we don’t want you” email invaded my inbox. 

Confession time…I cried out in frustration.  I was too through with trying to change my life.  “What do you want from me?” I raged.  After calming down, the moment of clarity came.  I started to understand why my career was stalled.

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Grace Is NOT a Hall Pass

 

When I was in junior high I was selected to be a member of a high school dropout prevention club.  The school was working with the county on this special initiative and as a result, students in the club were given certain privileges to go along with the responsibilities.  One of those privileges was a hall pass signed by the head of school security.

The intention was for students to use the pass to attend special meetings and programs.  But needless to say, I did what most kids would do with that hall pass…I abused it.  We all did.  We’d stroll to class late and schedule unnecessary meetings, secure in the grace that hall pass would bring.   Eventually we almost spent as much time out of class as the students we were encouraging to stay in school! 

I don’t even remember how the club ended, or why, but I truthfully don’t think we accomplished all that we could have.  We were more focused on the hall pass than the students who needed our help.

Sometimes I think we use God’s grace like I used that hall pass.  We get into situations that were completely avoidable and when it comes time to deal with the issues that drove us there, we pull out our grace card and hide behind it.  Or, we mistreat people and expect them to rejoice over our half-hearted apologies because we are counting on them to have grace—rather than counting on ourselves to repent and be different.

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