We all make mistakes, so why do we feel so much shame when we make them?  Despite the fact that we’ve all made thousands of them, we often feel as if others won’t understand our shortcomings.   Worse still, we can be downright merciless when judging the errors and faults of others.

As humans, we know that making mistakes is inevitable, but when it happens many of us find it hard to rebound.  Sometimes we get stuck deriding ourselves and find it difficult to move forward.  The hard thing about making a mistake is that despite how much you learn and educate yourself….you will make another one! 

Mistakes can be made out of ignorance or carelessness.  The ones made out of ignorance, are often called honest mistakes.  The use of the word honest somehow implies that in order for other types of mistakes to be made, there must be a degree of malice in our motivations and intents.  The careless mistake implies that the error was avoidable.

Regardless of how, or why, we make them, there is a healthy pattern for dealing with the times when we fall short.  We are to own up to our mistakes, reaffirm our relationships, learn the lessons and move on healthily.  In order to rebound, we must take the time to go through each step, making the necessary adjustments along the way.  We may need to change our attitude or the way we do things.  

Here are the steps for your consideration:

People get hurt when mistakes are made.  Whether our mistake was made out of carelessness or ignorance, somebody always gets hurt.  When you’ve committed the offense, it is important that you apologize.  Your apology may not fix the situation, but it does show others that you care about how your actions impact them.

Unfortunately, humans are fickle beings.  It doesn’t take much to create a point of contention or division in our important relationships.  We keep the relationship healthy and strong when we take the time to get the necessary feedback and give others the chance to share how they feel.  Never blow off someone’s reaction or minimize it.  Granted, you have to balance how far you’re willing to allow others to impose their issues on you…but you never want to be careless with or about others’ feelings.

People get hurt when mistakes are made.  Whether our mistake was made out of carelessness or ignorance, somebody always gets hurt.  When you’ve committed the offense, it is important that you apologize.  Your apology may not fix the situation, but it does show others that you care about how your actions impact them.

Unfortunately, humans are fickle beings.  It doesn’t take much to create a point of contention or division in our important relationships.  We keep the relationship healthy and strong when we take the time to get the necessary feedback and give others the chance to share how they feel.  Never blow off someone’s reaction or minimize it.  Granted, you have to balance how far you’re willing to allow others to impose their issues on you…but you never want to be careless with or about others’ feelings.

The primary reason for getting feedback is not just to let others vent.  If you value the influence you have with others, you ask because you care.  I don’t advocate brooding over your mistakes, but taking the time to evaluate how and if something could have been handled differently only helps you to grow and mature.  If we repeatedly make the same mistakes, it is evidence that we are stunted in an area of our growth and development. 

While we don’t shrug or wink at our mistakes…we most definitely don’t build memorials to them.  Once you’ve taken the first three steps, it is time to move on from the mistake.  Meaning, you refuse to allow the mistake to define you—even if others are trying to impose a label on you.

Life is a process of growth and each day should bring us more knowledge and information that equips us to be better than we were before.  New experiences enable us to make better decisions.          

But there will always be people hung up on your last mistake.  You can’t change that…just make sure you don’t get trapped in the past with them.  When others can’t accept your apology or explanations, there is nothing you can do except continue to move forward.

  How did you handle your last mistake? Did you own up to it or hide it?  How did it affect or how is it still affecting your relationships?  Identify where you currently are in this four-step process and take some time this week to successfully develop a strategy for moving to the next one.