Ask.Push.Knock: Time to Claim Your Divine Destiny

After a long and uncomfortable flight to the UK and standing hours in two hot airports, I was ready to take a nice, relaxing shower.  It was a well-deserved reward at the end of my journey.  I didn’t even mind it when my sister declared that she was showering first.  I was in London—nothing was a problem.  Imagine my surprise as I stepped into the hotel’s shower and the water flowing from the spout was ice cold.  I don’t mean lukewarm...I mean FREEZING cold.

My options were limited, so I endured it.  After my shower, I called downstairs to the concierge.  Within minutes, a maintenance man arrived to investigate the problem.  I appreciated the quick service as he walked into my apartment’s little boiler room and moved a few dials and twisted a few buttons.  I waited patiently and five minutes later he emerged from the room and declared, “It’s not the time!” 

I didn’t know what he meant.  So, I pressed for a little more detail.  His thick, Russian accent made it difficult for me to completely understand him.  But I did manage to understand the words, 12-4 and try in 30 minutes.   It was a Saturday and I was in London. I wasn’t about to spend my day waiting for a water heater to warm up.  So, I headed out to enjoy the city.  After several hours wandering the city, I headed back to my temporary home.  I jumped in the shower and this time the water was warm, but mid-shower it was freezing again. 

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Overcome Your Fear

There’s an old saying that goes, “You can run, but you can’t hide.”  Trust me when I tell you that nothing better describes my relationship with my finances for most of my adult life

In my college years and mid-twenties, I spent money like water trying to soothe the problems only Christ could solve.  In my thirties, I finally woke up, but it was only to do the bare minimum of giving, paying my bills on time and saving for retirement.  However, as I tip toe toward my forties—I’m facing down my financial fears. 

For years, my financial goals were stalled.  I recently realized that my failure to set and achieve goals in this area of my life was not reflective of a lack of ambition, but rather a loss of confidence in my ability to qualify for my dreams. 

In short, it was a fear of insufficiency.  A part of me didn’t really believe that I could qualify for the privilege of home ownership and financial freedom.  This qualification couldn’t come from a bank or mortgage company; I’m talking about my belief in my ability to handle the task. 

Regardless of how far my actions may have separated me from the mistakes of my past, my mind still lived in a place of fear.  (I felt like the foolish college girl when it came to handling my money.)  But in keeping with my one resolution to change the things I can, I’ve finally mustered up the courage to put it all down on paper!

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Hold Your Water: Know When to be Quiet & When to Speak

Years ago, I went to lunch with two married couples.  One couple had been married for about fifteen years, but they doted on each other with the affection of newlyweds.  Their love was rich in maturity and intimacy.  The other couple had been married for less than a year and, while the affection was strong, the maturity that comes with time was not yet there.  The veteran wife's name was Shirley.  She was physically and spiritually one of the most beautiful women I have ever known.  She has since gone home to be with the Lord.  But, even now when she crosses my mind, I always remember the words of advice she gave the new wife.  She said, "When I get very angry, I take a sip of water and hold it in my mouth, so I can't speak."  That was her pearl of wisdom for a happy marriage.

I would love to tell you that I encouraged the bride to follow this advice.  But that would be a lie.  Instead, when we all went our separate ways, we decided that it was good advice that worked for Ms. Shirley but we were from a different generation and needed to say our piece.

In retrospect, I now appreciate her simple wisdom.  I once read a Dr. Phil book that drove the point home. He put it this way, "You never want to miss a good opportunity to shut up."  I naively thought her advice would dumb a woman down and usurp her power.  But, Ms. Shirley wasn't saying that she was a doormat. She just had the wisdom to reserve her words for the right moment, when she could best be heard.

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