How to Overcome Negative Attitudes: Dealing with Negativity from & Towards Others

When people don’t like or understand something about you—you know it.  It’s evident in their attitude, manner and words.  Their discomfort seeps into the atmosphere and after a while you risk becoming uncomfortable with yourself if you don’t confront them or remove yourself from their environment.

People used to look at me like I had a third head because I love Bollywood movies and I think Dolly Parton’s original I Will Always Love You is the true classic.  I’ve heard everything from, “Something is wrong with you” to “You’re not really black.”  Some comments were made in jest, but some were outright offensive remarks and the disdain was duly noted.  It used to annoy me, but I’ve learned that I can’t live my life in the confines of someone else’s mind.

I refuse to be around negative people—not even when I know they love me and I care about them.  I refuse to embrace their smallness and judgment.  It took me some time to learn to accept myself in spite of their opinions, but now I know that I am not obligated to surrender my identity over to anyone else. 

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The Problem With Love – Pt. 2

A Bi-weekly Column by LeadHer Coach, Felicia Scott

(If you missed Part 1 "The Problem with the Way We Love and How to Solve It," click here to read it.)

Weddings and babies keep adding branches to my family tree.  While I welcome the new adults, I have to admit—the babies are my favorite!  The adults, who come fully loaded with issues, arouse more suspicions and in some cases create more family drama. I greet them with warmth, but sometimes I question their motives.  

The babies get a completely different reception.  From day one, my heart is open to this imperfect creation.  No questions, no suspicions…I just want to love and take care of them.  They don’t get the side eye…they get showers of affection. Their innocence helps me to forget that they, like the adults, are simply humans.  In my mind, they can be who and what I want them to be.  

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The Problem With the Way We Love & How to Solve It

 

 Bi-weekly column by Coach Felicia Scott

Every day, I pass the Love sculpture by Robert Indiana that sits on the corner of 55^th Street and 6^th Avenue in midtown Manhattan.  Big, bright red and blue, it is hard to just pass it by.  If the sculpture itself doesn’t draw your attention, then the crowds of people who stop there to take photos certainly will.  Every day New Yorkers and tourists alike stop and take time for love.  It seems like everyone wants to be a part of it!

Too bad the same can’t be said about real love.  Unfortunately, we don’t flock to stand beside and demonstrate the kind of love the scripture demands of us on a daily basis.  Despite the fact that love is the fuel of life, many of us are running on empty.  The problem isn’t that we don’t love.  The problem is that perfect love must find a way to express itself through imperfect people.

Many of us still struggle with wounds inflicted by a loving, but flawed parent.  We still nurse tender spots in our hearts over hurtful actions by spouses that we know love us deeply.  Even in the best of relationships, the imperfection of the human heart manages to sully love.  The only way to get over it is to apply more love in the wound.

One of the biggest problems with the way we love is that we think love is something we own and are qualified to define in our way.  Based on our experiences and exposure, we decide what love looks and acts like.  Pity the person who fails to measure up to our standards.  But, thankfully the Word is clear on the standard and measure of love that we should all strive to reach.

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