If I Think Wrong, I’ll Do Wrong: Keeping Your Mind Renewed
A Bi-weekly singles column by Ashley Peterson
“I want to be like Nicki Minaj when I grow up,” said Sheila, a precocious 15-year-old with a face piercing beneath her bottom lip on the right side. I sat in my chair at the front of the room listening to this beautiful teenaged girl who was slouched in her seat with light pink streaks of hair in her bangs, and a matching ponytail hanging midway down her back. Her smooth mocha skin, slanted dark brown eyes, and radiant smile complemented by a perfectly straight set of teeth, make her really stand out.
Sheila is one of the “cool girls” who “only comes to church because her grandmother makes her,” she tells me every chance she gets. I always respond, “Well, Ms. Sheila, I hope one day you’ll have the personal desire to come.” But consistently, the feisty teen, who has a hard exterior but is really sweet underneath it all, acts like she is tortured by the teen girls Bible study class every Thursday.
But last week, she decided she wanted to be the center of attention and have a little fun by offering up a shocking answer when I asked, “What women of the Bible might you want to be like?”
Nicki Minaj clearly wasn’t the answer I was expecting to receive!
“You probably don’t even know who Nicki Minaj is Sister Peterson, do you?” Sheila laughed sarcastically. Immediately, more than half the students in the small windowless room cackled along with her. Certain segments of the class of about 20 students high-fived each other, appearing pleased that one of their peers had managed to stump the “lame” Bible class teacher.
And they were right. I was lost.
But one of the other young women, 26, assisting me, knew exactly who Sheila was talking about. She spouted off Nicki Minaj facts at the speed of light and had a captive audience. Then she told the teens, “But Nicki Minaj is not a proper role model for you. She glorifies sex, money, homosexuality, and many things that go against God.”
I was so thankful she was there to help out, but I certainly went home and did my homework after that. I now know that Nicki Minaj, real name Onika Tanya Maraj, is a female rapper with a hyper-sexualized image, who uses some pretty objectionable language in her rhymes, and explores X-rated themes. She is signed to rapper Lil’ Wayne’s Young Money label and is very famous.
It didn’t take much looking to discover that a lot of women, young and old, who are greatly influenced by pop culture, want to be like Nicki Minaj. The superstar rapper seems to have it all by the world’s standards: beauty, money, fame, power, confidence, and admiration of millions of fans the world over.
But you and I, especially as saved single sisters, have to be careful not to get too engrossed in pop culture.
I know I do!
I am selective about what I take in, because all that talk about sex, sexiness, money, men, and vanity… child, I can’t do it. It brings my thinking too low and God wants me to keep my thoughts elevated according to Colossians 3:2 NIV that tells me, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”
No good can come of igniting lustful, fleshly, and worldly desires. Instead, we need to obey Philippians 4:8 that says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.”
I’m sure some of my other single ladies can agree with one of my personal rules to live by, which says, “If I start thinking wrong, I’m going to start doing wrong and I cannot afford to do that, so I keep my mind renewed.”
Some of my friends tease me and tell me I need to “keep up with the times.” But if that means indulging in activities and entertainment that will arouse lustful desires in me, no thanks!
Living the single, saved, and satisfied life is all about following the formula the Bible prescribes, and modeling my lifestyle after righteous women and men, and the principles outlined in the word of God.
Last I checked, Nicki Minaj wasn’t in there.
If you find her, please let me know.
In the meantime, I want to leave all my single sisters with this scripture from Romans 12:2 in The Message Bible interpretation. It says:
Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Tell me, how do you handle pop culture influences so that you can keep your heart and mind pure?
*This article was written with consent from the subject and the subject's legal guardian. Her name has been changed for the purpose of this article
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to discuss current issues related to single women and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way God intends. Email her at ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.
30 Comments
Reader Comments (30)
Love this Ashley! As a single woman I am working on doing better with my "pop culture" influences because I'm trying to stay holy and pure. I know of myself that sexy music gets me in the mood and stirs up lust so I don't listen to every artist. Staying separate and set a part is a must for me! This was a really great article!
Music, movies, and entertainment nowadays is a lot more direct about sex and adult themes. I have a teenage daughter and it is a trip trying to keep her away from some of this stuff! I have to stay prayerful and strong.
Excellent post! This was a discussion I was having with some of my single friends a few weeks ago. Certain activities that other people indulge in are off limits to Christians singles (or should be off limits) because they have the potential to pull you into sin and keep your mind in the wrong place. Wonderful words of wisdom!! I really enjoyed this todya.
I love the idea of having a teen Bible study for girls because their issues are very unique. I could envision the young lady in your article. So many kids are like her, being led by worldly influences and as adults, we have to be better models of wisdom and holiness. I pray that God continues to guide you.
Recently I have begun to clean out my music selection and be more discriminating about what I engage in. I am working hard to live a celibate lifestyle after being sexually intimate with my previous boyfriends. I feel like I want to do things the right way, God's way! Thank you for sharing your personal story. You have inspiried me to bring my mind up higher.
Love your rule to live by! I'm stealing that because I can't afford to have my mind too low either!
I like how you said you know yourself! That's the key. Some of us can handle different things. Everyone may not be impacted the same way by specific activities or entertainment. We are all unique. But if we do what WE know is right, then we'll be alright. Great article. Before reading your article I don't know who Nicki Minaj was either Ashley so don't feel bad :)
I truly loved this piece. Being a single saved woman can be full of temptations however there is no reason at all that we can not over come them. I know at times I have to put myself in check when it comes to some of the things that I see and hear. It is nothing to turn on the tv and see images that can have the potential to creep back into your mind at a later time. Most often at times when you should not be thinking about ANYTHING like that. Not only am I careful for my sake but for the sake of my children. In addition to being a single, saved woman I am a single mother. I have to be on guard at all times and can not afford to drop the ball, especially when I have a young daughter. I often remind myself that I am what my sons will desire in a wife and what my daughter will aspire to be. I want them to strive to be and marry saved, sactified, holy virtuous women. Those who seek to please God, not only when others can see but especially when no one is there BUT God. In order for that to happen I have to be that godly example for them. I limit what we watch, what we listen to, where we go and who we hang with. If I wouldn't feel comfortable inviting God to indulge then I have no business being a part. Sis, you were right on the money with this one and I will be sharing this with others.
What great comments! Thanks for the feedback. It's good to know I have other single sisters doing whatever is necessary to stay pure. We're in this together ladies! :~)
I have struggled with being celibate. It is a TRUE struggle, but I never really considered changing my diet, like what I listen to and watch. I suppose Uhser, Trey Songz don't really help my case.
No way you could be living in my house under my bed so I will take this to mean that God has spoken to you and led you to write this blog for me. 3 years ago I was in a bad relationship and I said I would never do that again, but I let myself go right back and get trapped. Now I'm in a situation and I know God is not pleased. I am into some stuff I don't need to be into and I'm finding it hard to move on. This was a real wake up call.
I used to read Kennisha Hill's column here every two weeks. I'm not sure what happened but I really enjoy your writing as well! Very sound and refreshing. God bless you.
Uncomfortable truths, but true indeed! Love this!
Thank you for being a woman of integrity and telling the truth about knowing yourself. A lot of women I know are so pompous and they act like they don't have feelings when they get saved. I still get tempted and I have fallen at times, and just because I'm saved does not mean I am made out of stone. Your honesty is great to see. I will be reading more of your work. You have gained a supporter today!
Girl, you aint telling nothing but the truth. These girls these days are fast and growing up way too quick. It's hard to believe what they are exposed to. It's no wonder the teenage pregancy rate is going up, up, up!
I consider myself a little more progressive than the average single lady. I do indulge in R& B and I like to casually date a lot. I'm not saying I'm perfect and a lot of people might not agree, but I like to play the field a bit. I'm sort of sassy and I like my men strong, young, and fine. I love God. I go to church every Sunday, but I also like to have my fun. Is there anything wrong with that?
Wow! Thank you for all the feedback. I appreciate your honest comments. For those of you struggling with celibacy, I know there are a lot of temptations out there for us single ladies. Prayer, reading scripture, fasting, staying connected to a good word-based church, and curbing your influences will all serve to help you be strong. I know what you're going through. I promise I do! But the more you strengthen your spirit you'll be able to stand strong.
@Single & Sassy, I don't know you personally so I wouldn't dare try to get inside your life and tell you how to live it. I will say that living a life that lines up with God's biblical standards for womanhood requires sacrifice, prayer, and communion with God. Beyond church attendance, your relationship with the Father is most important. I pray that you'll continue to grow!
Thanks for every single comment.
Hi Ashley! I'm really loving what I'm reading here! When I saw Nicki Minaj I didn't really know what to expect, but girl you are kicking that wisdom and it is TheBomb.com! Keep it up! I'm sending this to my girlfriends.
@Deandria, I'm glad you stuck around to read more about what I was saying! And thank you for sharing this article. Please spread the word about the column. I want to help as many single ladies as I can. We're in this together!
As an empowered black woman, I don't have time to listen to any Nicki Minaj foolishness anyway. She is a little girl, talking about grown up subject matter. I'm grown, all the way grown. What would I look like getting into a chick who calls herself a Barbie anyway. This nonsense with her just makes me mad. I'm sorry to write all that about Nicki, but anyway good article my dear sister! Keep teaching the truth and spreading that love and wisdom. I too will be back for more. Shalom.
@Zora, tell 'em why you mad, sis! ;~) Thanks for expressing your strong thoughts. I love to see a woman who knows who she is with a clear focus and strong sense of self. I appreciate you reading. Keep coming back!
Oh yes, this is my kind of article! About time a Christian website talked about some real issues. Music has power. It can make you angry, it can get you in the mood for love, it can give you a false sense of confidence,, all that. So paying attention to what we hear and see is wise. I have to grow in this area some, but I'll be working hard to apply this advice.
I know it seems like Nicki Minaj is new, but Lil' Kim was doing this 10 years ago. So there is nothing new under the sun. The same thing it took to save kids back when Notorious K.I.M. was doing it, is the same thing it takes to keep them now. We can't give the devil any credit. He doesn't have a new bag of tricks.
Lord Jesus. I'm praying for that little girl you talked about. She needs guidance and direction. There are a lot of black girls being raised by their grandmothers who are too old to really look after them and run behind them the way they need to. It truly takes a village to raise a child. You're doing a great work Ashley. Keep it up. The youth of today need us!
FANTASTIC ARTICLE! KEEP TEACHING THIS YOUNG GENERATION! THEY NEED OUR HELP.