Are You Really Ready for Marriage? A Wedding Lasts a Day, A Marriage, A Lifetime
A bi-weekly singles column by Ashley Peterson
I was sitting in bed surfing the Internet on my laptop, still in my nice warm pajamas when I first came across the Yahoo! News story that set off a media frenzy last week. It was the story of stories: “Kim Kardashian Files for Divorce from Kris Humphries after Only 72 Days!” Now, before you smack your teeth, click away from this article, grumble about “another Kim Kardashian story,” hear me out.
I know Kim K is no role model—particularly not for Christian women—but there is still a lesson that can be learned from her "mistake."
One of EEW Magazine’s readers named Anita Jackson wrote in and said, “As a 36-year-old single woman who loves God and is waiting patiently for my Boaz, I felt insulted and frustrated by this flagrant abuse of the sacred institution of marriage by Kim Kardashian. Here I am doing my best to live the single life God’s way and hold out for 'the one' only to see someone get married one day (in an approximately $10 million ceremony) and change their mind the next! Ugh!”
Our editors actually received quite a few email reactions to the Kim Kardashian situation with requests to address the happenings from a Christian perspective.
Tammy P. wrote, “To be quite honest, it felt like a kick in the teeth to watch a woman promise ‘til death do us part’ and renege just several weeks down the line because her feelings changed.”
It’s hard to argue with Tammy and Anita. There was no domestic violence involved. No extra-marital affair. No serious infraction. Just a sudden change of heart that caused a new bride to decide her marriage simply wasn’t worth fighting or caring about.
So what do I, the new Single, Saved, and Satisfied relationships columnist have to say about this whole thing?
Well, I am certainly not here to put Kim Kardashian on blast, because there are many people out there like her who are in love with the idea of marriage, but don’t want to put in the work. Really think about it. In American culture, we romanticize weddings. We are mesmerized by the pomp and circumstance surrounding such gala affairs. We love every bit of the glitz and glamor that accompanies those grand ceremonies designed to set the tone for the establishment of a sacred covenant between a man and woman. According to Nielsen Media Research, the Prince William-Kate Middleton ceremony drew nearly 22.8 million viewers in the United States, and was watched across 11 channels.
That's a lot of folks watching!
Kim Kardashian’s wedding event that was aired on E! News Network, though not record-breaking, reeled in more than 4 million viewers. Those numbers aren't too shabby. But it's too bad the “fairytale” wedding overshadowed the “real life” work of marriage—something many of us single ladies overlook in our overly romantic minds.
That’s why divorce is rampant, even among born-again believers. According to the most recent findings of The Barna Group, 26% of Evangelical Christians have been divorced. And the percentage gets higher among Non-evangelical born again Christians—33% to be exact.
Something has to change.
We have to fall out of love with weddings and fall in love with (1) the person God has chosen for us (2) every aspect of marriage, even the work involved in it.
I know how strong the allure of a special day that’s all about you and your happiness with your Prince Charming can be. So many single ladies go over details of their big day in their minds.
One of my girlfriends (Love you Yvette!) always tells me, Ashley, I can see the kind of dress I want; the color of the bridesmaids dresses; the type of cake I’ll have; even details of my tropical honeymoon. She has her Hope Chest and that sister is ready! And I’m not hating on that at all. That’s a good thing. But the best thing about Yvette is her seriousness about God; her prayer life; how she has chosen to honor God through celibacy until she walks down the aisle. She has decided to let God work on her character now so she’ll be ready for a spouse when the time is right.
Isn't this how all of us single sisters should be thinking? But sadly, Lord knows, we waste far too much time daydreaming about the wedding day rather than asking what it will actually take to make a marriage work.
But it's really time to ask that serious question now: am I really ready for marriage?
And instead of being heated about the Kim Kardashian spectacle, us single, saved, and satisfied sisters who read EEW Magazine need to be thankful for being able to witness it. In fact, if you put the events in the right perspective, they will help you re-focus on what matters the most.
It’s NOT the wedding, but what happens after the wedding that is most important.
Do you find yourself glamorizing the “idea” of marriage more than the actual biblical definitions of oneness, submission, and the hard work that comes along with that? I’d love to know how you feel about this. So leave me a comment below or email me at ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to discuss current issues related to single women and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way God intends. Email her at ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.
14 Comments
Reader Comments (14)
Thank you so much, Rhonda! I am excited about sharing what is in my heart with the readers of EEW Magazine.
@LaKeisha thank you very much! I appreciate the warm welcome. I feel blessed to have this opportunity!!
Welcome Ashley! I look forward to hearing your singles perspective.
Hi, Ashley! *waving* :) I ditto Rhonda!
I enjoyed reading this...looking forward to more great insight from you to share with my single sisters.
I really enjoyed this, unlike some of the other Kim K articles that had no point accept talking about the drama that happened! I am 32 and just got engaged this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!! I waited until I was sure God was leading me for all the reasons you mentioned. I think this was the perfect article to sober me up so I don't get lost in wedding planning and forget about the work up ahead. I feel really blessed to have found the right man for me though and I guess I will be switching from singles articles to married articles next year. :0)
Congratulations on your engagement Tatynana! I'm glad you were able to see my heart shining through this article because I really do think the Kim Kardashian incident is a lesson for single women. I think you said something very valuable and important, which is, you made sure God was leading you. That's the key! And also, you are keeping in mind the "work" that comes with marriage. I believe if you keep that attitude you'll do fine as you make your departure from the single girls club and Dr. Michelle Johnson, our marriage columnist, is very capable! God bless you going forward.
Kim K is nothing but a publicity whore, so I think she has deeper issues than just rushing into marriage because she wants a wedding. She's a narcissist who needs to have a seat.
Welcome Ashley! I look forward to reading your column.
Thank you Dr. Michelle for welcoming me as I begin my journey!! @Amber a part of Kim Kardashian's business model is publicity, but that can certainly be a double-edged sword. Thank you for sharing your comment.
Ooh sister! Were you hiding in my house during my first terrible marriage or something? LOL! I got married to the WRONG one for sure and I was young and foolish. 22, pregnant, and feeling pressured. That was 10 years ago though and now I am in my 30s and I think I am finally ready to take that walk down the aisle and marry the RIGHT ONE some day. This article is so on point and will definitely be SHARED with my girlfriends.
Girl you better tell the truth! I WOULD have been that one smacking my teeth and clicking away lol! But you really won me over. Your perspective is really grounded and I enjoyed reading this.
I have always wanted to be married since I was a little girl. Here I am 35 and single and wondering if it will ever happen for me. So I was really upset with the Kim Kardashian thing because there are so many of us that WANT love and would value and treasure our husband, like me.
This is my first time reading something from you Ashley but I enjoyed this very much. I'll be reading more!
Davina: 22 is very young to get married and while some do marry young and live happily ever after, I know plenty women who realized late that they weren't able at the age to discern just the right decisions to make. I'm glad you made it through, learned the lessons, and are back on track! And thank you for sharing this article. I hope your girlfriends enjoy it and are blessed by it!!
Kimberly Dobbs: I knew it might have been viewed as controversial or even "annoying" for some of the great ladies who read EEW to hear another story about the Kim K incident, so THANKS for not clicking away. I'm happy you were able to see the lessons the article.
Leslie T.: Yeah, I feel you on that for sure. Your appreciation for the sacredness of marriage and your desire to cherish love once you have discovered it in your own life, will be a great asset to your relationship. That's the right attitude to have!
Butterfly Mommy: Thank you for checking out the column! I hope you will continue to read and enjoy.