Keep Your Guard Up: Protect Marriage From Adultery

Article By LaTonia Irving:: EEW Magazine Marriage

Last week, I wrote about moving beyond adultery based on Ebony Magazine’s breaking story that Grammy Award-winning singer Tina Campbell’s husband had had an affair, which caused quite a kerfuffle online.

Now, after reading the full feature on page 106 of the current issue of Ebony, I have a clearer perspective of what happened.

The unfortunate incident took place approximately 2 1/2 years ago, but Teddy just got around to confessing, fearing that the news would leak since his wife is now a reality TV star. Basically, the contrite husband said the Lord told him to out himself, or else.

So he dropped the bombshell on his better half this past February, which means this marital crisis is very new.

Adding insult to injury, the woman who engaged in the taboo relationship with the high-profile singer’s spouse, was a longtime family friend according to the publication.

That surely hurt.

So how did Tina handle it?

“You know she exchanged texts with the chick, who was promptly excommunicated from the family and then changed all her numbers,” reports Ebony.

Naturally, the betrayed wife did what any other woman would do: she promptly severed the relationship and disassociated with the friend, turned betrayer. That was a healthy choice. But there was something unhealthy still lingering and festering inside.

“I was working to become an evil, angry, unforgiving person,” Tina recalls, not really knowing how to process such a hard blow.

That’s understandable. How in the world do you move forward after dealing with a double betrayal— firstly, from your husband, secondly, at the hands of a longtime friend you thought you could trust?

Tina had some soul-searching to do. She needed God to supernaturally help her forgive, which He did and will do for any of us dealing with a painful breach of trust.

Beyond forgiveness, though, how can we wives avoid such a thing happening in our marriage in the first place?

Well, truthfully, some things are beyond our control. No matter how much we do right, pray, and perform our wifely duties, the enemy is always looking for opportunities to creep into our lives. Sometimes, he does.

Like it or not, we will face hurts in our marriages (not necessarily adultery, but possibly), for which we will have to muster the strength to forgive, with the Lord’s help, of course.

So then, when it comes to safeguarding our marriage from outside sources that could cause compromise, and become a catalyst for adultery, what can we learn from Tina’s situation?

According to Teddy, there was “empty space” in their relationship, which left room for other things—in this case, another woman.

“The empty space in your mind is the place devil occupies,” he tells Ebony.

That gap, opening, and opportunity was enough for a full-blown affair in the Campbell household. But Tina never saw it coming and would not have ever been aware that it happened without hubby's confession.

Not seeing it coming isn't uncommon and being unaware that anything is out of order is not unique to Tina's situation. All wives, me included, must be prepared and on guard to protect our unions from the schemes of our chief adversary.

One of the most important things for a wife to do is apply 1 Peter 5:8 NIV that says, “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” It is one of my favorite scriptures for marriages.

I say this, because Satan is watching, scheming, and doing all he can to tear down families. He hates unity and despises healthy marriages, because a strong, unified couple is a wonderful testament to God’s keeping power.

Although we should not be super paranoid or extra jealous, we do need to be watchful and keep our guard up. After all, even those we trust can be used by the enemy to wound us.

Pay attention to things like:

• A woman excessively calling or texting him

• A friend being too common or flirtatious with your spouse, always going out of her way to compliment him

• Someone you trust poking fun at you in front of your husband, pointing out your flaws, or trying to start conflict

• A "sister in Christ" being extra helpful, volunteering to do things that keep her constantly around your family

• Another woman always dressing provocatively around or fishing for attention from your husband

There are many other behaviors to look for, some of which could mean something or nothing at all. Prayer is the key.

Walk closely with God so you will be in position to hear from Him concerning your marriage, and always work to improve your relationship.

What is some wisdom you could offer about being on guard in your relationship?