God Brought You Out for a Reason; When a Bad Relationship Ends, Don't Go Back
It was a Monday and I was three weeks removed from the relationship with the serial cheater I had fallen head-over-heels in love with and I was feeling good. Just in case you didn’t read my testimony about the break-up that turned into a breakthrough for me, I recommend that you check it out here before continuing.
Even though I still cried a lot, I had also made a lot of progress. I’m not going to lie. There were days I wanted to answer my ex’s phone calls so badly, even after he did me wrong. And when he had the nerve to come by my Sweet Ma’s house one afternoon looking for me, I wanted to run outside and tell him how much I missed him. But my grandmother wasn’t having that.
I had never heard this short, silver-haired woman’s voice sound so strong and convincing as when she told him (while holding a broom, mind you), “You better never come back ‘round here!”
He never came back either.
But still, my heart was completely tied to the man who shamelessly did me dirty. I missed his voice, scent, touch, and laugh.
I missed everything about him.
I missed us.
9 Comments
Reader Comments (9)
darling this is making me ANGRY. First of all who is leading our daughters to be with men who have NO concern or qualifications to be a FATHER, A REAL man would have said what can i do to help. Never mind if you have to say its not mine WHAT ARE YOU doing having sex in the first place and WHO failed where we think this is okay????AND God allowing a miscarriage, honey this is really making me upset. NO child should have to feel like this over some dude who is NO GOOD at being a real man..leaving a child is the height of irresponsiblity and im sorry no offense but MANY MANY women refuse to put up with that type of treatment and who told us we should????(i know im one) you have to know your value..i am furious...sorry great article though.
I completely understand your story, although not in the same way. It touched me and reassured me that God is able and I am not the only one experiencing hurt and pain from a failed relationship that God never intended in the first place. I will pray your strength as you pray for mine. God's Love. A. Verna'
Ashley, girrrrl you are such an inspiration to me. I've experienced a soul tie to a not-so-good man AND the loss of a baby was involved too. Actually, God just walked me through the heartache and shame of my situation a few weeks ago. You are one of the few Christian women I have to look up to. Single, Saved, and Satisfied is who I am learning to be at 23 until my dying day. For His Glory! I love you big sis', in Christ, Bless UP!
@meme I understand what you mean! After I was able to come out of the fog I was in and see things clearly, I went through so many different emotions. I was sad, angry, and upset with MYSELF for having stayed as long as I did. My hope and prayer is that someone will read my testimony and not make the same mistakes I did, or at least gain the strength to walk away.
@A. Verna, yes we will be praying for each other! Falling for the wrong one, no matter what the situation is a hard, hard thing. I thank God I learned from it even though I thought it would kill me while I was going through it!
@Britney, I am floored that God would send someone else my way who has gone through something similar! And I am so happy to be able to be a blessing to you by sharing my life honestly and openly. Thank you for sharing your comment! We'll stay strong together. :~)
Thanks for the comments ladies!
Ashley your story is definitely a testimony to be told. It tells us the power of a praying grandmother and a woman who finds that inner strength. It’s important to know who you are and who you belong to, to know your worth. Knowing when to let go and move forward makes the different. Thank God that he is able to healing the hurt and take away the pain.
I am so glad that u were delivered from a relationship that obviously wasn't
God's will for your life but I was disappointed that you didn't acknowledge
that your choices were not mistakes but sin + rebellion and that you didn't
Publically repent. Do u plan on staying pure till marriage or r u playing that
"The flesh z weak" game with your soul?
Thank you for the encouraging words. I prayed and asked God to save me and He did. I asked Him to remove people from my life that was not good for me and He did. God just freed me from a toxic relationship by giving me the strength to tell this person that he is "no longer welcome in my life". We are blessed by the best!
wow thank you so much for your article, I too believe now that God end my relationship, he cut of the branch not producing fruit, because I didn't have the courage to do it, I was so fearful at loosing my wife, my family, and I tried so hard to hang on to it, I did everything but it still ended, because God wanted it over he knew I wasn't truly happy, and I would let her have her evil ways,, love is a two way street, its still hard, and part of me is still stuck there, but I now put my complete trust in God, I wish you the best of luck, and thanks again
Wow, this story hit home. I was in a toxic relationship that recently ended. I was so blinded by the signs because I was wanting it to work so bad, that I didn't realize how toxic it was. Even when I knew it should be over, I still tried to fight to make it work. It started off great, I truly thought that he was "the one". He made me feel loved, appreciated,etc, my family adored him and all was good, but as soon as he felt that I disrespected him, the true colors started to unfold. My family tried to warn me, but I would not listen, the person I was with had a hold on me that was not healthy. I stopped being myself, which is what he promised me in the beginning that I could always be around them. Then the eggshell feeling came, where I was nervous to even be around him sometimes because I didn't know what the outcome would be, I tried to keep peace at all times. Everything I did was viewed by them as being sneaky and disrespectful, to the point that I stop hanging around my family and friends. He would always speak his philosophy on things to me, instructing me to follow his ways and what he shared with me. I tried to, but even then it still wasn't good enough, no matter what I did, he would find fault or have something to say, there was no trust. My breaking point came when he accused me of cheating on him which I NEVER did. He took a blurry screen shot picture of a video chat that we did one night and swore up and down that a guy was in the bed with me while I was video chatting with him. I immediately got defensive (which I shouldn't have done) as I know I was innocent, but I couldn't believe that he would accuse me of something as such, based on a blurry screenshot image. When I got home we got into a terrible argument and I was even hit (which was not the first time), but I still stayed. My family was devastated and I was completely lost and so unhappy at this point, but was willing to do anything to prove I didn't cheat, I offered to take a polygraph and all. But God intervened, and one night while we were sitting in bed in silence because we had just got in a heated argument, he said that he was going to move out as it was best, and then made a smart remark about me cheating and never going to change which revved me up and I got up and said "I can't take it ANYMORE, GET OUT! and that was the end. I am not going to lie, I still hurt because I was falsely accused by someone who I thought loved me and would be the one for the rest of my life, but at the end of the day God knows what is best for me and he was sending me signs all throughout our relationship, but I had my ex on such a high pedestal that I ignored them. Despite how I feel currently about the whole situation which emotionally, mentally and physically drained me, I can still smile knowing and trusting that God has something better for my life. It took a while for me to realize it, but God knows I am so glad that I did.