A Prescription for Fun!
Kenya and I had the best time together at The Buffalo Urban League’s 85th Anniversary Gala at the Buffalo Niagara Convention center over the weekend. I loved seeing him look all polished and dapper in his black tuxedo. And I had a great time getting dolled up, and slipping into a matching black gown for the special evening.
“Wow! Look at you!” he said with a twinkle in his eyes and a mega-watt grin. “You look gorgeous.”
I chuckled like a schoolgirl.
After nearly 15 years of marriage, I still blush when Kenya lavishes me with attention and compliments me. And he enjoys it immensely when I tell him how fine he looks. Mr. Hobbs heard that aplenty Saturday and every bit of it was the gospel truth.
So we were both giddy and ready for our date.
No kids.
No work.
No curfew.
Just the two of us.
When we arrived at the gala, we mingled. Kenya held my hand, paraded me around, and introduced me to his colleagues. We ate delicious food, laughed a lot, enjoyed each other’s company, and had a lovely time for a great cause.
Then when the band cranked up the music, we headed onto the dance floor, said hello to the mayor and his wife who were already grooving, and had ourselves a grand old time. We laughed, acted silly, and pretended to be the only two people in that grand room beneath the lights.
I took special delight in the slow dance. That’s when Kenya and I just looked into each other’s eyes, held one another close, talked, and basked in the moment.
The two of us had so much fun that we were still talking about it the next day.
Fun is critically important for married couples! Are you having any? If not, it’s about time you start. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in a rut day after day: tending to the children, handling career and business, and fulfilling ministry obligations.
All the spontaneity, excitement, and joy will be sucked out of your relationship. You’ll stop living and started merely existing. Your husband, who should be your friend and lover, will become more like your roommate than your romantic partner.
This isn’t God’s divine will for your marriage.
As responsible adults, I know our minds are constantly on all we must do to keep things flowing smoothly in our households. While things like paying bills, keeping food on the table, and fulfilling commitments are important, they shouldn’t be used as an excuse to cross out fun.
So if things have become a bit blasé, I’m prescribing fun-filled days and nights as medicine to heal a common condition known as “The Couple Blahs.”
This prescription is based on Proverbs 17:22 that says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Keep these few guidelines in mind while integrating fun into your marriage.
1. Fun is not just for kids. You’re never too mature to indulge in moments of silliness, laughter, and fun with your spouse. As the years pass, make sure you don’t outgrow good times with your mate. The two of you should mentally revisit the highlights and best times of your life together. Play together, joke with each other, goof off, and do lots of teasing.
2. Find a laugh-worthy moment. Kenya and I share some of our best laughs just reminiscing about old times and finding the humor in everyday life. Our four children are endless sources of laughter. Surely there are some giggle-inducing stories, moments, or even movies you can call to mind that the two of you find hysterical. Talk about them and let the knee-slapping, side-splitting laughter begin.
3. Fun doesn’t cost a thing. The mandatory fun I’m prescribing for you and your spouse has nothing to do with a specific location. You can have it anywhere and anytime. It doesn’t have to be a swanky black tie affair or a vacation in the Bahamas. You don’t necessarily have to leave home or spend a dime to experience lighthearted pleasure and amusement. All it takes is creativity, an open heart, and a desire to enjoy your soul mate every chance you get.
Special Assignment: Make a list of 10 things you can do right away to instantly add some fun into your marriage. And be creative!
About the Writer
Dianna Hobbs is Founder of Empowering Everyday Women, an urban Christian evangelism ministry that utilizes modern methods to impact culture. The organization, which is a subsidiary of Hobbs Ministries, produces Empowering Everyday Women (EEW) Online Magazine, the nation’s #1 web publication for Christian women of color. Learn more about Dianna Hobbs at www.EmpoweringEverydayWomen.com.
12 Comments
Reader Comments (12)
What a great article! My husband and I used to go on date nights once a month and we haven't been keeping up with them lately. This is confirmation that we need to put some spice and "fun" back in our marriage. Thanks Diana!
Two kids, two jobs, and two dogs leaves me too tired most days! lol Awesome reminder. (Goes to pencil in F-U-N)
THANK YOU FOR THIS! You are such an encouragement.
Dianna,
I have had a rough five years. My husband and I are considering splitting up. It's hard. There has been cheating and some other deep personal issues that I can't right here. But God knows I want to save my marriage. We don't have fun anymore. I don't trust him anymore and I feel lost. What to do??
Is it okay if I print this out and share it with my women's group? This is awsome advice Mrs. Hobbs!
Mrs. Dianna Hobbs thank God for you writing this article. I have been feeling really "blase'" lately about my marriage and wondering what can be done. I am making a decision to laugh more and live more!
Perfect timing! My husband and I are planning a vacation. We skipped it for the past two years because his mother was sick and then my father was diagnosed with a heart condition. We have sort of put our relationship on the back-burner to be caretakers. Now it's time to give our relationship a little TLC.
Fun, what's that? lol I need some like right now! Thanks "doc" for the much-needed script ;-)
You and your husband Kenya seem to be such a beautiful couple. God bless you two! I have been married 30 years and we still have fun so it is definitely possible. I really enjoyed reading this.
I'm glad you're sharing this with the ladies. If we don't take time to "court" our spouse, the marriage will go dry and cold! We have to keep things spicy, fun and lively!! Thanks Ms. D for helping us see this. Love it!
LOVE IT!!
I love my date night with my husband! We have to keep it simple because our budget is kind of tight. But we find all sorts of things to do together and its nice. We feel refreshed afterward.