Walk in your Confidence: Out of the Shadows into the Light

 

Bi-weekly column by Dr. Deana Murphy

Last week I was the speaker at an eWomen event where I met a lady who began talking with me about her lack of confidence.  What a strange way to begin a conversation, nevertheless, she obviously wasn’t embarrassed to share this with me. It happened that she pricked my heart.  I have this bell that goes off inside of me when I hear a woman say she has no confidence in herself.  I don’t know, perhaps it’s the compassion in me that wants to fill her void, or the cheerleader who ushers her on. I believe the conversation provoked a little of both. She has been overshadowed for so long by her influential husband, a physician, only recognized as “the doctor’s wife.” She had forgotten how to be herself. She was noticeably miserable.

I am hearing more and more of this lately.  It I called a loss of identity.  Overshadowed. It’s a state of emotional numbness or a lost sense of self.  Like this lady, many women give up the pursuit of their dreams in favor of helping a mate achieve his. She may withdraw from pursuing her dreams for “just a while” while he pursues his, expecting him to one day return the favor. But too often the day of favor never comes. As a result, he’s in the spotlight and she has “willingly” lost her way. She sees him as the influential one but she succumbs to subordination, complacency, weakness and lack of focus. She has lost her identity to the light of his, and often times, even he is not aware of it.

Dr. Robert Schuller said, “Joyous living is a grand possibility.” No one should go through life merely existing. Instead, we should seize the day and get in touch with the things that bring authentic joy and delight. As I said to this lady, there is a way to reclaim your identity and walk in your confidence and strength.  I am confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ. (See Philippians 1:6)

The plain truth is no one can take away your confidence.  Your confidence is still there, only buried under a perception and belief that you aren’t what the Lord has said that you are, and the belief that someone is more powerful or influential than you. Inside of you is a powerful, strong, fearless, independent and adventurous woman. And it’s time that you unveil her.

1. Admittance and Awareness. Call it is what it is. Face the truth about your perceptions and beliefs. (By the way, that’s all it is…a belief and perception). Make a list of ten things that you haven’t done because of your subordination. One example would be, “I failed to put myself in an environment that was intellectually stimulating.”

2. Action and Advance. You will need to renovate and design your thought room. Your mind is a field. It is being planted with the wrong thought seeds of low self-esteem, no self-worth, and powerlessness from years of feeling overshadowed and overlooked.

In the renovation process you can dig up what you have planted by taking responsibility for the design of your life. Soak yourself in the Scriptures. Your mind is like soil. It will grow any seed you plant there, the good, bad or ugly. When you plant words spoken by God in your mind, you are sowing energy, life, light and hope into yourself.  His word is like a spiritual bulldozer that digs up all satan’s power from your life.

3. Live creatively. It is good to take a fresh new approach to your life. Look at challenges and problems as opportunities for you to find creative solutions, realize hidden potentials, and make new discoveries about yourself and your world.  Tell yourself you are a glorious, gifted and great person who chooses confidence over cowardice.

4. Rejuvenate yourself during downtime. Set aside daily self-growth time to read a book and listen to inspiring audios. Spend time journaling. Record memorable moments, accomplishments or your own observations and ideas. You can also spend time becoming an expert on something, for instance, studying or researching a specific topic in your field of interest. Be sure to take care of yourself. Use some of your downtime to exercise and get in shape.

5. Embrace your own power. Engage your personal development plan fully focused. Be willing to take risks and expect a favorable outcome. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving Father who has a plan and purpose for your life. It’s time that you allow your heart to beat without aching.

You don’t have to follow someone else’s script. You don’t have to be less of who you are in an attempt to make anyone more of who they are. What you don’t realize is the spotlight is large enough for both of you.

Have you ever felt overshadowed? Do you still feel overlooked? What steps have you taken or can you take to change this? Leave me a comment below or email me at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com.

Dr. Deana Murphy passionately supports the success of women helping them to design their best life. Creator and visionary of the LivingDesigns™ brand, Deana is an absolute expert on life design and your Go-to-Resource for promoting empowering life makeovers, whether you seek one-on-one consulting,
group trainings, virtual workshops or live lifestyle makeover events.

Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com

Email Deana:
dmurphy@eewmagazine.com

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