Embracing Who YOU Are: Getting Over the Need to Be "Every Woman"
Whitney Houston’s and Chaka Khan’s renditions of “I’m Every Woman” has sent a resounding message to most women that they can do everything: “I'm every woman, it's all in me, Anything you want done, baby, I'll do it naturally, I'm every woman.” It’s no wonder then that when it comes down to it, we want to be everything. There's something about the idea of being accepted, driven, successful, connected to the right friendships, being recognized for one’s achievements and living an extraordinary life that makes us want to claim that moment of fame, “I’m every woman.” We want to be like our friends. We want her figure, her soft luxurious hair; we want the shopping sprees and luxurious vacations; we want the car she drives; and we want our husbands to give us the material things that her husband gives to her; we want to take care of everyone while neglecting ourselves.
We want to be every woman.
I’m sorry Whitney and Chaka, but you are not every woman, and neither are we. We are women. Not every woman. Only one. And this is how we were created. Whether we think our teeth are crooked; waistline is too large; eyes are too small; feet are too wide; or we are simply too flawed, we are yet women made in the image of God. And everything He has made is good.
Ladies, it’s time that we become comfortable in our own skin. It’s alright to not fit in. It’s alright to not have an understanding of how football works or know how to jump double-dutch. It’s alright if your chocolate chip cookies aren’t perfect and your cake didn’t rise to perfection. It’s alright that your hair frizzes in humidity and your voice cracks a little when you sing. And it’s fine to cry while watching a moving movie if you want to.
But there are things that are not alright to do.
It’s not alright to bash yourself. It’s not alright to see yourself as inferior to anyone. It’s not alright to compare yourself to someone who you deem more successful than you. It’s not alright to think of yourself as being powerless, subordinate or weak. It is not alright to believe you will never excel or come out of an unfriendly life situation. And it is not alright to murmur and complain about your life’s circumstances when you have a loving and merciful Father who has already blessed you with every spiritual blessing (See Ephesians 1:3).
You may have to function each day with courage and constancy knowing that you are hurting inside. You may have to smile and support someone who got the promotion you were more qualified for. And you may have to remain calm and composed when your friend boasts about her advancements knowing that you haven’t advanced from where you were last year this time.
I say to you, I see a woman of greatness. I see a woman with hope. I see a woman who has potential far greater than your wildest imagination. I see in you gifts and talents that are yet to be discovered. I see in you the grace of God to do all things through Him who strengthens you. I see your strength. I see your victories and your breakthroughs. I see you casting in the net for a catch far greater than your net can hold. I see your wisdom. I see your heart’s desire becoming a living reality. I see your value. And yes, I even see your pain.
But through your pain I see your purpose. You were created to leave a positive footprint in the world. Your purpose is the answer to someone’s prayers. Allow your purpose to become your driver. Allow your purpose to encourage your confidence. The Lord is with you as he said through the prophet Isaiah:
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you. “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.” (Isaiah 43: 2-5 NLT)
You are the woman chosen by God to be in the earth for such a time as this. Rise up to your call. Come from behind the façade and embrace your inner and outward beauty. You are priceless. You are an exceptional woman, strong, determined, loyal, driven, hard working, creative, and passionate. You are not every woman; you are the daughter of the King.
If you’ve been motivated by this column, I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below or you can contact me at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com.
Dr. Deana Murphy is a speaker, educator, blogger, award winning author and founder and CEO of the LivingDesigns360 brand. She specializes in showing over-shadowed women how to renovate their lives and break-free of self-imposed barriers so they can own their power, reclaim their identity and live a blessed life. She helps women confidently change their lives and grow to master the habits of self-esteem, self-confidence and well-being functional in four core areas of life including life improvement, spiritual growth, professional achievement and home and family management. Her holistic methodology to life-improvement engages the unique approach of designing your internal self as one would design their house; room to room meaning from the attic to basement; head to toe. She’s your go-to resource for empowering life makeovers, whether you seek one-on-one consulting, group trainings, workshops or lifestyle makeover events.
Visit Dr. Deana at deanamurphyglobal.com
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29 Comments
Reader Comments (29)
Your motivations are like a lifeline for me. I have been so depressed and discouraged. Because of the economy I have not been able to finish my Masters program. It has gotten t0o expensive and I feel like my career has stalled. Thank you for reminding me that I don't have PERMISSION to stay in this funk. I feel so liberated after reading this Dr. D!
Dear Kezia,
I am so glad that you took the time to read this article, especially seeing as it has liberated you. Two things: delay is NOT denial. The Scriptures tells us what God has begun in you he will complete. (See Phil. 1:6). He has also promised to provide all of your needs according to his riches, not yours. Don't give up Kezia. He sees your needs and knows your desires and will give you the desires of your heart. Put him in remembrance of his promises and stay in the attitude of expectancy UNTIL it comes! I am praying for you.
Warmly,
Dr. Deana
I've been knowing I need to retire my cape for a while now!! Thank God for this confirmation. Gotta get my act together Dr. Deana!
Erika,
Isn't God good? He just nudges us to go here, read this, watch this only to get our attention and gently prompts us to change directions. I've retired my cape too, Erika. Showers of blessings.
Warmly,
DD