Uprooting Seeds of Self-Doubt

She is someone I’ve loved since high school. Each time we talk, those “good ole days” make their way into our conversations. No matter how often we repeatedly discuss our shared experiences, we laugh about them as if we are hearing them for the first time all over again.

But yesterday, our conversation suddenly shifted.

Like an opened floodgate, she poured out what had been hidden for decades in the life rooms of her thoughts and heart. She shared something with me that I can’t seem to shake. Yet, her opening up about it has noticeably broken the shackles that had her bound, and now, has made her free.

Her transparency led me to ponder the fact that many women raised by selfish parents often internalize negative messages about themselves. Those reared in a hostile and abusive environment where the phrases “you are no good” and “it’s your fault” are the norm, early on, begin to question their competence and intelligence.

Nagging self-doubt rings loudly in their ears and just doesn't seem to go away.

My childhood friend, who suffered a lot during her upbringing, is determined to fight limiting beliefs, both personally and in the lives of her children. These days, she is an exceptional wife and mother who is intentionally creating a different and more affirming environment in her home.

What once plagued her is now her testimony. She uses the troubling experiences as a foundation for encouraging today’s youth to somehow move past their own hurt and fear, to pursue destiny.

You may have issues with self-doubt too, after seeds were planted in you through negative childhood messages. Because of this, you might struggle to give yourself credit, or often feel unworthy. But, no matter what your past history looks like, today is a new day.

It is time to uproot those seeds and plant new ones.

You can defy all odds and show the world you are worthy simply because Jesus paid the price for your freedom. If you are plagued by self-doubt, I want to share a few directions to help you embrace your recovery process.

If you constantly say things like, “I don’t feel up to the task”; “I’m not sure”; “It’s too hard”; or “I may be rejected,” these could be indicators of a weakening confidence.  Don’t underestimate their destructive power. Listen intently to your words and begin questioning, “Why am I saying this?” You cannot conquer what you aren’t willing to confront.

Make the conscious effort to immediately shift the self-limiting statement and say the exact opposite. Counter your negative reaction with positive self-talk (Philippians 4:8).  What you say is so powerful that you can talk your way into or out of almost anything. I suggest that you begin journaling your thoughts about how you will jump-start your confidence and authenticity. Design your own plan and follow through on it.

Research has found that positive support, warmth and coaching can directly reduce self-doubt. Perhaps a Christian mentor can better help you see your intrinsic value as a child of God.  As a human, your intelligence, perception and self-determination far exceed that of any other earthly being.

Occasionally, we need to be reminded that God has given us the power to live the “exceedingly, abundantly, above all” life that Ephesians 3:20 speaks about. A motivating, God-fearing coach could empower you to push past the self-doubt that brings on unwanted mediocrity and complacency.

Even if others don't encourage or praise you, you can still thrive. Although we all enjoy being celebrated, never emotionally depend upon others to validate you. Believe in the woman God created you to be. It may be a challenge, but it is possible. Through Christ's power that rests on you, you can be like David and dance yourself to victory, and encourage yourself onward. Deep within is where your confidence lies.

So fight the demons of self-doubt, embrace your recovery, and discover your true spiritual DNA. Click this link to learn more about this process at an upcoming seminar.

And remember, as you are admonished in Hebrews 12:1, "Therefore, since you are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, throw off everything that hinders and so easily entangles you. Run to your purposed-place with perseverance, for the race is already marked out for you."

Please let me know how this article has touched you by emailing me directly at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com and commenting below. I always love hearing from you.

Let There Be...Life Without Stress and Struggle

My aim was to be up around 5 AM this morning knowing full well I had a lot to do. It would be a non-stop day and not much time to pause. But lo and behold it was around 7 AM when I awakened so I hurriedly gathered myself, took care of my hygiene needs, and rushed into the secret place. Sitting in my comfy chair to have conversations with God is the most important part of my day.

Because of the two-hour loss of time this morning, I could have awakened with a panicky attitude, but by choice, I became calm and entered into his rest. You see, we are not designed for stress. Years ago I would dwell on things that bothered me. I wouldn’t venture out to do what was on my heart because of what I thought people would say. But now, I automatically redesign my thinking patterns, oftentimes, right on the spot, because it's the healthy thing to do.

Sometimes you have to laugh out loud at situations. Come on, laugh with me because a cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17:22). This is a learned behavior—certainly not a gift I naturally possess.

Thinking back on my earlier years, stress was actually the norm for me. As an aggressive “Type A” personality, if things weren’t going my way, my attitude would magnify the matter, causing me to mentally blow situations out of proportion. Without understanding the disaster of my self-limiting, emotional statements, my life and future was chaotic. Thinking on the areas where I’d failed and then, blaming everyone else, became the norm for me.

Thank God that is no longer the design of my life and it doesn’t have to be yours either.

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Get Grounded in Perfect Love

I was invited to participate in a private online forum where I can share my heart in a conversational way to over three-hundred women. It was clear to me that I was to accept this invitation not only to share, but to meet other women. Trying carefully not to overstep any unseen boundaries I began a discussion on self-image. I mentioned my low tolerance of complacency for the reason that I believe women can do and be much more than they consent to.  

My reason was from a place of compassion for women who are indoctrinated by others and are deceived to believe they are not worthy or important. So I shared that I recognize their need for inner healing and knowing this hurts my heart.

To my immediate surprise, many responses began pouring in. But the amazing thing was one lady responded that she is indeed one of the frustrated and paralyzed women held captive because of a fear that keeps her stuck. She mentioned that trying to figuratively pull her feet out of thick mud is to no avail. She went on to transparently admit that posting in the forum was a big leap for her because she would normally agonize on what to say and if it would be right. It wasn’t a day as usual for this lady because I was there and knew I could help her.

And then she wrote something so very profound.

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