The Building Blocks of a Strong Marriage & Family
Article by Dianna Hobbs, EEW Magazine Publisher
ccording to Barna, a research organization that studies trends within the faith community, an estimated 33% of Christian couples’ marriages end in divorce. Families fall apart. Tight-knit relationships come unglued.
But why?
While there are several factors that negatively impact families and contribute to their demise, one common issue is failure to prioritize family time above other obligations and responsibilities.
Far too many people underestimate the negative power of busyness that truly wears on a relationship. Constant outside demands can pull spouses and parents so many different ways, that eventually, it causes a breakdown in marital and parental units.
Like fabric being forcefully tugged in opposing directions, when the tension on families becomes too great, it creates a tear, a hole, or a rip that only God can repair.
Sadly, the rift or divide for some is never healed. As a result, we see a tragic breakdown of what should have been a strong, solid family structure.
So how can we avoid losing our families amid hectic schedules, seemingly endless to-do lists, and relentless demands?
I’ll tell you a brief story.
Recently, I had to interview the mayor of my hometown, Buffalo, NY, Mayor Byron W. Brown, for a television program called “The Bottom Line.” As I was getting dressed and preparing to go to the studio, all four of the children, each home-schooled, reminded me that we were supposed to be going out bike-riding the next day.
They made sure I hadn’t forgotten my commitment to enjoy the outdoors tomorrow. Though I really didn’t have time to talk at that moment, I knew it was very important to them.
“I promise we’ll all go,” I assured my persistent little clan while primping and making sure every hair was in place. I was in a hurry and under quite a bit of pressure since the host of the show fell suddenly ill and left the entire program in my hands!
So here I was, feeling a bit uneasy and a lot hurried. I was silently praying that God would strengthen and equip me for the task at hand, while verbally fielding questions from the children about exactly when we would be meeting up for our playtime.
Well, after each of them was finally satisfied with my answer (Thank you Jesus!), I chuckled once they left the room. They didn’t care one iota about my television appearance or my conversation with a dignitary.
In fact, as a general rule, each child, from the youngest to the oldest, is pretty unimpressed with my professional life and pursuits. Though they listen to me on the radio nightly and are fully aware of my ministry, media, and music responsibilities, all they see me as is “mommy.”
They want hugs and kisses, home-school lessons, delicious meals, clean laundry, fun outings, bike-riding adventures, and quality time.
My husband wants a wife, friend, lover, and companion, not a media executive more interested in the outside world than him.
And that’s the way it should be.
The next day, the kids, Kenya and I had a blast riding bikes and hanging outdoors for hours. I had traded in stilettos for sneakers, Blackberry for handlebars, and stuffy business meetings for goofy giggles, silly stories, and warm hugs from my husband.
At the end of the day, it’s all about balance and realizing that when we honor our families, we honor the Lord.
As people of God, when it comes to ministry and all the responsibilities of life, we will never have a shortage of things to do. Nevertheless, God never intended for us to leave our families behind in the name of serving Him and winning the world. Knowing how to balance family, work, and play, I believe are some of the bulding blocks for a strong marital and familial unit.
The family that prays and plays together, stays together.
This is why my husband Kenya and I, after nearly 15 years of marriage have kept our commitment to family. We prioritize our time together above the demands of the outside world.
God is first; family second; and other obligations third—always in that order.
That way, we won’t be out saving the world and losing our family in the process, which is not God’s will for our lives.
As you’re reading this, be determined not to lose yourself, important family relationships, or your soul while navigating your way through the busyness of life. When it all comes down to it, are those unrelenting obligations worth losing everything?
Mark 8:36 NIV asks, “What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?”
Please don’t sacrifice yours and your family's in the name of saving someone else’s.
About the Writer
Dianna Hobbs is Founder of Empowering Everyday Women, an urban Christian evangelism ministry that utilizes modern methods to impact culture. The organization, which is a subsidiary of Hobbs Ministries, produces Empowering Everyday Women (EEW) Online Magazine, the nation’s #1 web publication for Christian women of color. Learn more about Dianna Hobbs at www.EmpoweringEverydayWomen.com.
6 Comments
Reader Comments (6)
I love this article my dear sister in the Lord. May God keep blessing you and your ministry as you handle your family his way.
Words of wisdom from a woman of wisdom. Love this!
I have a demanding career in marketing and it is challenging keeping it all together. I find myself spending too much time online and finishing up paperwork from the office, but not enough time with the husband and kids. I know I need to change this and this feels like confirmation for that. If you can do it and you have alot more on YOUR plate than I do I know I can do this too. Thank you for such a great advice today.
I was divorced before realizing that I was out of balance! I have been remarried for 3 years and my priorities are much different. When I was reading this I couldn't help thinking how things would have been different if I wasn't so focused on and driven by my career. But we live and we learn.
I love you! I love this!!!
After I read this. I finally realize what my relationship counselor told me about mind setting and time management for my wife and for my kids.