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Try Again: No Fear... All Faith

Ever since the pregnancy loss, it has become the million dollar question that almost everyone asks me – Will you try again?

Each time, I never really have an answer.  Truthfully, I’ve been torn when it comes to considering actually trying again.  There’s a huge part of me that is terrified of the possibility of going through such a traumatic experience again, and if I never give pregnancy another try, I figure I’ll save myself from the risk of suffering that particular heartache and disappointment should the result from the last time repeat itself.

The reality of never having the opportunity to hold my sweet baby in my arms was deeply disappointing for me, and the thought of putting myself in a position to feel that let down again has honestly had me quite fearful.  But since I know that the Lord has not given me the spirit of fear, I knew I had to take my anxiety about conceiving straight to Him.

A few nights ago, I pulled out my prayer journal and favorite pen, and poured my heart to The Father.  I’ll give you a peek inside that intimate moment and share what I wrote:

Lord, I don’t really know where to begin, other than to say that I’m scared.  While I am unaware of Your plans concerning my husband and me having more children, I am afraid to try again.  The disappointment from losing our baby almost three months ago was far too painful, and now that I’m healing, it terrifies me to think about what could happen if we became pregnant again.  I can’t bear a repeat of that experience.  I know this spirit of fear is not of you, so please help me to overcome my anxieties so that I don’t predicate the outcome of the next time upon what happened the last time.  Grant me the grace to set aside my previous disappointment of loss and not allow it to hinder me from embracing new experiences that could lead to gain.  No fear.  All faith.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

That night, I sat before the Lord until I received what I needed – peace.  While sitting in the presence of the Lord He ministered to my heart, His peace that surpasses understanding engulfed me, and I learned another valuable lesson. 

And, of course, I’m sharing it with you.

The last time and the next time are totally different experiences.  What happened before has nothing to do with what will happen the next time you try.  But disappointment has a way of making you feel like the appointed time for the thing you desire will never come, and will cause you to give up on trying and believing.  Just because it went wrong the last time, does not mean the next time won't be successful. To everything there is a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1); it didn't happen before simply because its season hadn't arrived.

It makes me think about the woman with the issue of blood (Mark 5:25-29).  For twelve years she tried to find a cure for healing.  I can imagine that each time she went to a doctor and received a failed outcome, she wanted to just give up on spending her money and getting her hopes up to believe that she’d get the result she desired.  But despite how disappointed she may have been each time she returned home in the same condition, she kept trying.  She didn’t allow what happened the last time to keep her from believing that things would be different the next time.  Had she given up on trying again, she never would have pressed her way to Jesus.  Because she didn’t allow fear of disappointment to hinder her, she kept trying until she finally received the healing she so desperately desired.  She may have been let down by her previous experiences, but her next-time experience yielded her totally different results.  Fear lost.  Faith won.

Since that night with the Lord, my hope has been restored, and fear has been cast out by faith.  Although I don’t know what the outcome will be, I’m no longer afraid to give it another try.  I’m choosing not to give my past disappointment power over my future appointments with destiny. 

Listen ladies, disappointment sucks; I know that full well.  Sure enough, the relationship may have ended in heartbreak the last time; the ministry or business may have flopped the last time; the job interview yielded no results the last time; the doctor couldn’t find relief for your pain the last time; you failed that class the last time; the fertility treatments were unsuccessful for you and your husband the last time; but know this with full assurance – if God promised it, He is faithful to manifest it.  Don't allow the past to dictate what the future holds.  Besides, no matter what happens, God still has good plans for you.

So, to answer that million dollar question – Yes, I’ll definitely try again.  Will you?  Go ahead and give it another try; the next time may be your best time. 

No fear.  All faith.

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Reader Comments (13)

I'm praying for you and your husband through this time. I had a miscarriage a few years back and was afraid to try again. But I'm so glad we did! We have a beautiful baby girl named Faith.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

"No fear. All faith." is my new motto! I love this.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

I am a nurse and I see the traumatic impact emotionally that miscarriages have on my patients very often. About 10 to 25 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage but research also shows that women who try sooner than later are more likely to conceive again. So go for it!

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay411

Amen. God has not given us the spirit of fear. Good article.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGina D.

Wow thank you for being so open and sharing a journal entry with us. I write my thoughts down too when I'm talking to God to try to make sense of my life and all that's going on. Sometimes it gets so hard to keep believing for good things when I've lost so many. I have never lost a baby before but relationships, friends, jobs, and I feel like I'm just a LOSER because nothing ever works out for me. I know other people go through stuff but it seems like my life is harder sometimes.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharon Hargrove

I thank you for this article because it came at the right time at the right place. I have been so afraid of another failure that I have pretty much just stuck my head in the sand. Your example has lifted me out of that rut and given me the courage to move forward in faith. Faith wins.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerry

Hallelujah!! God knows I have been going back and forth about something I'm fearful of taking on. I just got the encouragement I needed right here, right now! Glory to God. He used you today my sister.

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaula

Hi, ladies!

Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. You encourage me so much!

Thank you for tagging along this journey with me and embracing my heart.

Grace & Peace to you,

December 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaKeisha Rainey-Collins

Let me first thank you for being so open with such a personal issue. I am currently in the process of stepping out in faith and attempting to "try again", for the third time. Mine is not as personal as the lost of a child, but not giving birth to what you believe God has called you to is hard no matter the circumstances. Thank you so much for sharing. You gave me the encouragement to try again. God bless you and your husband.

December 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFelicia

When reading your articles, I am always disappointed when they come to an end... I love them sooo much. Thanks for this encouragement; I needed it after the week I've had.

Blessings and favor to you. I know you will get that little girl that you desire. ~~ No fear; all FAITH! ~~

December 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady

I absolutely love hearing from you ladies. I am always so blessed and encouraged by your sweet words.

Grace & Peace to each of you!


December 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaKeisha Rainey-Collins

Hey sis!
This is SO wonderful! I love the way God has given you the ability to write. It's straightforward, to the point. Just what we need :). I hope you and your hubby get the baby girl/boy that you're praying for! I am dealing with a situation in which I'm operating in OVERDRIVE not of God. I'm wrestling with it, when God has made it oh-so-easy. (Why do we make things hard when they're not?) I'm stressing out and everything. (sigh). Must learn to F.R.O.G. (Fully Rely on God).
Keep on serving Him, sis! <3 MUAH!


December 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJanelle Hunter

Thank you for sharing your story. I am the queen of anxiety..and my favorite scripture is Phil 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything". In any event, I suffered the loss of 2 children and 2 miscarriages as well. I lost my first child at 20 weeks; got pregnant again and lost the 2nd one at 22 weeks. This happened all within the same year. I was extremely disappointed, hurt and somewhat afraid, but not deterred. Then I had difficulty becoming pregnant. After a little more than a year I became pregnant again, but miscarried. Got pregnant 3 months after that and it ended in miscarriage as well. By now I'm afraid, disappointed, hurt, angry and cannot believe what is going on in my life. I'd finally given up on giving birth to my own child. My husband and I took a trip in the winter months and decided that would be our annual trip. Don't you know 1 month later I became pregnant. I know have a son who will be celebrating his 6th birthday this year. I say all this to say, never give up on God. You never know his time or his reasoning, but it's always PERFECT!

March 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLori

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