Success: Was the Best One the Last One?
I’ve kept quiet on the subject, but as a former teenager of the 80’s… I can’t believe that I live in a Whitney Houston-less world! I will never forget the first time I saw Whitney. I was 13 and my monthly subscription to a teen magazine had just arrived. Every single month I waited for it. I would spend the next hour or two sitting on the porch peeling through a magazine filled with teenage girls…who looked nothing like me!
There were occasionally girls of color, but they were always lighter than me with straighter hair or lighter eyes. I was happy to see them, but I couldn’t necessarily relate. But one day as I flipped through the issue—there was Whitney. Her signature smile, her radiant cocoa skin and curly tight afro. There was no question…she was me! I read and re-read the tiny section covering her upcoming debut album about twenty times. I had finally found my face in America. That picture, that young girl full of promise, is who Whitney will always be to me.
But for the past three nights when I retreat to my hotel room and turn on the TV, I see a different Whitney. The cable station is promoting her last film, Sparkle. But rather than focusing on the movie, they have chosen to delve into the darkness that eventually consumed her. I am disturbed by the newspaper headlines and images that flash across the screen. My Whitney is somewhere underneath the influences of addiction. I want to scream, “Let it go, she’s gone,” but her legacy can no more escape her faults and failures, than we can ours.
I once saw Whitney at CeCe Winans’ Always Sisters conference. She sat a few rows ahead of me. This was after her famous Diane Sawyer interview and everybody in that audience knew her business better than we knew our own. I never personally met her and I don’t pretend to know her or what drove, even haunted, her. But I can say that Whitney faced the same challenge that we all must face when it comes to dealing with our talents and gifts. We must deal with our last success, because it is the enemy of our next one.
In our comparison-fueled world, we tend to evaluate the quality of one thing based on its relationship to another. How do we judge an artist’s new album? On its individual merits or do we compare it to the ones that came before? If we spend too much time focused on our past achievements, it will paralyze us. We’ll be afraid to try something new because we’re afraid it won’t measure up to what we did before.
You can’t afford to get caught up in your last success. If you’re looking backwards, you are missing what lies ahead. You will get lost or hurt yourself if you try to walk forward while looking back. In order to move from success to success, we must:
1. Celebrate achievements and move on: I believe in taking the time to enjoy the blessings of the Lord. I love it when an article I write moves someone. I loved winning the eWomenNetwork’s speaker award. These things meant more to me than I can say. But I can’t become consumed with making sure my next speech is better than my last one. My job is to make sure that my next speech is the right one for the audience that is there. I am here to serve and learning how to be a better servant must be my focus if I want to move ahead.
2. Don’t take failure and/or success personal: It’s hard to live that one out, but it’s true. We are not our successes or our failures! They are only lessons we are meant to learn from on our journey. They are meant to teach us and bring us closer to God. We can’t define ourselves by what we win or lose. We can only be defined by His Word and His mission for our lives. Neither your critics nor your fans know the whole story; only God is qualified to define you.
Live It! Make a list of the three things—ranging from small to significant—that you have been avoiding out of fear that the next time won’t be as good as the last time? This week, develop a plan for tackling the smallest item. Next week, address item two and then progress to the more significant one. As you do these take time to journal how you feel as you address your fears. Pay close attention to how you feel and who you become as you move forward. You will discover that your growth is far more valuable than your achievements.
6 Comments
Reader Comments (6)
RIP Whitney
Thanks Ms. Scott! I get stuck when I fail, mess up or doing soemthing the wrong way. After a success I actually feel energized and ready to take over. But I feel like one mess up paralyzes me. This is where Im applying this article.
Life has its ups and downs to be sure but part of maturity says you take it all in stride. My grandmother once told me never get too high or too low about anything, otherwise you don't leave yourself anywhere to go during the in-between times. I have taken that advice and applied it many times. Wonderful words you have shared Coach.
Your advice is very necessary and timely for me. I can make my list in just one sitting Coach Felicia! There are a lot of things that keep me looking behind me. I'm working to get better in this area.
Awesome words of advice and wisdom for me to take with me on my journey. I keep a journal--have been doing that for 20+ years since I was about 5 ;) I will be writing things down and doing some soul-searching. I don't want to be hindered in my life any more. I'm going into 2013 with a new perspective!
I have this crazy anxiety like if I do well I'm going to fall flat on my face the next time. IT's like "Why mess up a good thing" or something. I've got to get over that. Lord help me! Thx Felcia for the words of inspiration.