Don't Play the Popularity Card

Article By Shana Graves:: EEW MAGAZINE PARENTING

“Mom, please? Carly Rae Jepsen is wearing it!” pleaded the petite blonde-haired tween at the shopping mall, tugging on her mother’s shirt tail.

“Carly who?” the distracted mother asked, eyeing shirts on the rack in the Junior’s department.

“You know, the ‘Call Me Maybe’ singer,” the daughter answered in a begging tone.

“Oh, that song!” the mom responded with a pensive look, checking out the life-size display of the pop star against the wall.

The 27-year-old Canadian singer has become quite the sensation among kids, tweens, and teens since being signed to Schoolboy Records, the label Justin Bieber runs with his manager.

Though she is at least a decade older than her core base of fans (even more for her youngest devoted followers), Jepsen is embraced by the teeny-bopper masses and their families.

Recently, she talked to Cosmopolitan Magazine about doing a “kiss-and-run” on a random guy she’d met in a bar one night. That’s not really appropriate behavior for a child idol, but parents trust her. Kids love her.

Celebrities (particularly those endorsed by “The Biebs”) with youth appeal, even if they are not so young themselves, have an incredible amount of influence over the young and impressionable generation, for better or worse. But since most moms and dads are not plugged into the pop culture scene, they have no idea who or what this generation is raving about in 2013.

The average busy parent or guardian also fails to realize their children and teenagers have an invisible dollar sign etched into their foreheads, seen clearly by profit-hungry corporate executives looking to make a buck. There are entire research firms, specializing in youth marketing that help corporations connect their products and services with the youngest consumers in America.

One of the most common ways to accomplish this mission is by promoting child and teen stars who start out innocently enough. Then, gradually, over time, they grow, evolve and change.

The bubblegum Disney and Nick Jr. Stars, sweet singers and actors, morph into edgy teens and later, adults, unfit to be role models for our children.

The conversation between the shopping mall parent and child, mentioned earlier, is not unique. You can plug any celebrity’s name into that exchange.

Please, mom?

___________________________________ is wearing it.

That could be Nicki Minaj, Katy Perry, Rihanna, or anyone considered “hot right now” in media.

But parents, be strong. Don’t cave in, especially if you are the one still holding the purse strings. If you become a yes woman to your children, you’ll find yourself buying the hot new CD, taking your children to the concerts, surprising them with movie tickets, DVD’s, and purchasing all the merchandise offered by their favorite celebrities.

But is it all as harmless as it seems?

“No,” the mother finally said firmly to the young Jepsen fan. “You can’t have it.”

Quietly, I applauded her, remembering my strict disciplinarian parents.

My hard-working dad, who had apparently partied hard in the past, didn’t want any daughter of his making mistakes like his. “I don’t want you falling for the same kind of man I used to be,” he told me all the time.

Many nights I sat in my room fuming. I wanted to be out with my friends and all the cool kids from around my neighborhood. Why do I have to stay stuck at home while everyone else has all the fun?! I wondered.

In these solitary, frustrated moments, my rebellious mentality got the best of me. I made a pact with myself that when I grew up and had children of my own, I would be just the opposite of my parents: cool, fun, hip, and rule-less.

When I finally did become a wife and mother, the anger turned into understanding. I had to make many tough-love decisions too. I couldn’t play the “popularity card” if I wanted to set the rules of the house and keep things in order. I had to be willing to play “Bad Cop” instead of “BFF Forever” for my daughter’s own good, like that mom in the store with her tween.

Parents, we are not our children’s friends. We should be the primary molders of their character and never pass that responsibility off to smooth marketers and pop culture trends.

Nowadays, with the tech boom and plenty of gadgets to keep them tied up, and us freed up, it’s easy to let online mentors, television shows, and entertainers train our young, shape their worldview, and feed them powerful lessons about love and life.

But what does it cost our families when we allow celebrities to advise our children about what to wear, listen to, and label cool?

Corporate entertainment executives certainly aren’t interested in using their ubiquitous influence for the greater good of today’s youth.

Parents that don’t recognize this truth let their daughters, without protest, grow attached to stars that will later turn into toxic influences.

In most cases, mothers and fathers become concerned too late, long after the airtight bond is sealed.

Once someone like Miley Cyrus trades in her Disney role for half naked photos, twerking videos, salvia-smoking, and rebellious living, adults then see that the former squeaky clean image was no more than a concoction.

It was a phony display, cultivated by relentless stage parents and/or corporate strategists concerned with controlling the youngsters’ brands for financial gain.

Of course we cannot lay blame entirely at the feet of the young and famous. They, just like any young person, are trying to find themselves, experiment, and grow up. As responsible adults who God has entrusted as stewards over our children, it is our obligation to lovingly enforce strong rules, and protect them from unhealthy distractions.

Despite what everyone else may be doing, Joshua 24:15 NIV is a great guiding scripture.

“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

How do you handle parenting challenges and giving out a firm no when necessary? Do you find it difficult not to play the popularity card? What's your parenting strategy? Please share.

Share This:

Share