You are Not My Father

A few years back, in the middle of disagreements, whenever I felt my husband was being obstinate, stubborn as a mule, and refusing to hear me out, I would quickly remind him of my role. “I am your help meet. So let me help you honey,” I would tell him self-righteously.

But don’t let him try to tell me what to do.

I would instantly shoot him a look and either verbally or non-verbally, though calmly, say, “Don’t tell me what to do. You are not my father.”

How hypocritical!

I didn’t realize this pattern until he pointed it out to me one day and asked, “Why is it that you always want to ‘help’ me but I can never tell you anything?” Of course I was defensive at first and accused him of accusing me. I honestly couldn’t see what I was doing. It took quite a few conversations before I uncovered the real problem at the root of it all.

I had daddy issues.

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