SEXY AND SAVED: Does What We Wear Really Matter?
By Ann-Marie Davies:: EEW Magazine Fashion
Spring is in full swing and it’s heating up everywhere, right along with the fashion. As the sun beams, more skin shows for the ladies around my way.
But should women of faith be different from the general population of women in our fashion choices? There are some Christians who scoff at the notion that you have to tone down your sexy factor to turn up your Jesus factor.
In 2012, Meagan Good's choice to put on a burlesque performance for her bachelorette party at Las Vegas's Pussycat Dolls Burlesque Saloon had people talking online. Some felt it was too much for a Christian woman to show all that skin and play up her sexiness publicly.
But Mrs. DeVon Franklin has gone on the record saying there's nothing wrong with being sexy and saved.
Is there a such thing as going overboard?
I had an experience some years ago that helped shape my perspective.
It was our first time going out on a date and I really wanted to make a good impression. I was about 20 at the time when a cute guy from my job asked me to hang out at a family cookout.
I had been eyeing him for a while. We were both Christians, serious about our faith. I would often see him in the same church circles, at musicals, conferences, and other special events around the California region.
He was a drummer with really deep dimples. I was ready to get to know him better. Because I was very picky and hardly liked anyone, the fact that someone I had a crush on showed mutual interest was nice.
So I went to the mall to look for the right outfit. When I found it, I hurried home, got ready, and waited.
When the suave gentleman arrived, I opened the door to let him in. His eyes went up and down my body and then he frowned.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” he asked.
“Yes, why?” I smiled, waiting for my compliment.
“Well it’s a little revealing he said,” wincing uncomfortably.
“What’s wrong with what I have on?” I replied, gazing down at myself, feeling really insulted.
“Your shorts are really short and that t-shirt is kind of low cut.”
I could not believe what I was hearing! I wanted to slam the door in his fine face, but instead, I invited him to sit down on the sofa. When I went back upstairs to give myself another look in my floor-length mirror, even though I was fighting mad, he had a point.
I did have on daisy-dukes and a form-fitting tee. But what guy doesn’t like a little skin?
That guy didn’t, so I swallowed my pride and changed my outfit.
When we got inside his car, I was silent, still nursing my wounded feelings.
“I’m sorry. I hope I didn’t offend you” he broke through the quiet. “It’s just that you’re a church girl, a woman of God, and I thought you would dress differently than that.”
He explained that he had never seen me outside of regular services, where I was always dressed conservatively. He was shocked by my flesh-baring getup.
Although he and I didn’t work out and only ended up going on a few dates, I never forgot his words to me. Whether I liked the truth serum he gave me or not, I thought he had a good point.
As a woman of faith, even my fashion choices should reflect who I am because what we wear helps others form opinions about my character.
For me, toning down my sexy factor has nothing to do with a legalistic approach to style, with a bunch of “thou shalt not’s attached to the "acceptable clothes" memo.
It's moreso about representing Christ in all areas, which includes knowing what and what not to wear.
What are your thoughts about Christian women and being sexy? Is there anything that should be off limits to us?
4 Comments
Reader Comments (4)
Interesting...I just had this conversation with my friend last night. I have been recently called into the ministry...and my husband is also a minister. Well, I am a "thick-chick" LOL! ...and I have curves (it's genetic)! I am not ashamed of them, so I don't wear clothes two sizes too big to hide them, BUT I don't purposely flaunt them either. I like for my clothes to fit...not tight, but fit. This has been a problem with some other women in the church. I don't wear short skirts (slightly below my knees),and I like maxi dresses/skirts...not too many lengths in- between and my cleavage isn't hanging out either. I like to feel confident and comfortable in what I wear. I have made efforts to keep up with certain trends (especially shoes), but with a conservative-Christian twist! When my husband and I first got married (he was already a minister). One lady when out and bought me two ("church lady suits"...one lime green and the other blue...OMG!). I politely said thanks, but no thanks..she hasn't spoken to me since..LOL! I think her behavior was mean-spirited and controlling. If her intensions were to "look out for me" she should have talked to me first...we were cordial "sisters-in christ" not friends. I have learned to be confident in my relationship with the Lord, and if I put on something that is not pleasing to Him, He will convict me and I will act accordingly!
Thanks Min. TS....you are right on point as a woman of God dressed in a Godly manner which pleases God and a light for Him to others. I'm glad the author was able to see herself after looking in the mirror and that is what we all should do look in the mirror and see and ask ourselves are we reflective of God and how we present ourselves to others.
although it may have been a hurtful experience from the young man but it was a learning experience.Something we can all learn from. I find it interesting that we go to women conferences but this subject is never discussed.
If reasoning fails, there is always Prayer. In the beginning of my walk with the Lord I would constantly ask Him for help with wardrobe choices. At times I would disagree with His choice ( I would argue, my legs are too...my hips are too...for this outfit), but still wear it. What I learnt was that God is actually a fashionista. I would receive compliments for my outfit throughout the day!
Take it from me, God is always right :) ...and you do not need to compromise your values to look GOOOOOOOD
I went to an event booksigning and the host is a Christian and the event was also to empower Afr. Amer. Women .a few of the women I knew were Christian women and I'm sure the others were but I tell you the women were dressed "upscale Hoo-Chee Mamas I'v never seen so many bodies out in one room. I'm always amazed how these pastors preach teach with power and might about the fleshy outfits and Afr. Amer. women still don't get the message....Truth Speaks.