Criticism Will Come. How Will You Handle It?

atching the recent presidential debate reminded me of what I already know and that is God is our only true judge. The critical tug-of-war during that debate had both candidates throwing jabs at each other almost in a threatening toe-to-toe stance. The aggression of one candidate in particular was rude and I was wondering when the moderator would finally step in.

It is no different in our lives. No matter what you do in life you will be criticized by someone. Criticism was once very hard for me to deal with. My self-image was shattered. Over time, though, I’ve developed a formula to combat those feelings. I’ve learned to know my own heart and not allow others to judge me. This attitude has birthed a new strength and power that I don’t know how to describe.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of critical remarks, you may be wondering how long God will allow this rude aggression to continue. You may be thinking, “Lord, you are the moderator here! When Lord will you step in?”

But there are lessons to be learned with every curveball that is thrown your way.

What is the Motive?  Unfortunately, parents tend to be critical without recognizing that they are. They want their children to be better people, to excel and do things right.  Criticism may not be the best way to motivate them, however, knowing the intention makes it easier to understand and get by it. And then others may be critical of you out of sheer jealousy. For example, I shared with an individual the excitement of an award I’d received and the transcript of the published interview. It was a shocking experience for me to learn that this person had remarked critically. And as of yet they haven’t acknowledged reading the interview. Later on I recognized there was a jealous spirit lurking there and consequently I understood the motive of this behavior. When you can recognize the motive behind it you can be prepared for the best way to deal with (or not to deal with) the person who judged you.

Don’t be Apologetic. Criticism can be difficult for most of us. Our self-perception can be damaged by just one critical remark. One of the biggest mistakes you can make when dealing with people who criticize you is becoming defensive. Learn to be secure in yourself without trying to give explanations for your actions. You can instead find out whether the critical comment makes any sense, whether it’s out of jealousy or to elevate the person’s self-worth. And finally I know this may not be easy (It wasn’t easy for me, yet, I had to do this.) but we are admonished to bless those who curse us and pray for those who insult us (Luke 6:28). Ask the Lord for discernment in this area.

You Can’t Defeat What You Fail to Confront: I believe most people have good intentions yet sometimes they need to know that their good intentions can bite. People tend to love you when you are doing everything they want you to do. But then when you do one little thing wrong, here comes the criticism. Confronting those who criticize you because they want you to improve is alright.  In a friendly, non-combative way let them know they can use a better manner to motivate you other than criticizing you.

In reality I guess the presidential candidates had their own inherent motives, however every great man or woman has had to learn how to cope with criticism. The Bible tells us that the Apostle Paul experienced criticism about many things. Yet he said he was not in the least bit concerned about the judgments of others. Paul had an unshakable criticism resistance and solid self-image. He knew who he was in Christ. He knew he was in God’s hands and that he would stand before God as his judge and not people.

There’s no need to throw jabs back and forth in your mind and speech about someone’s critical remarks about you. Neither should you develop an attitude of defiance with them because your feelings were hurt. If there’s any bitterness lingering in your heart, get rid of it with forgiveness, for your deliverance, not theirs. Remember no one ever faced more criticism on the earth than Jesus.

Know that you have a moderator who has already determined your outcome. He is the Lord, your only true judge. Learn your identity in Him and rather than let others continue to hurt you, bring it before the Lord and leave it there in His capable hands.

I would love to hear from you if this article has spoken to your heart. Contact me at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com and/or leave your comment below.