How Do You Know What to Do? The Secret to Making Right Decisions
A bi-weekly motivational column by Dr. Deana Murphy
I enjoy meeting new and interesting people. And of course if they are Believers, there seems to be a much lesser effort to communicate. The commonalities and same values sort of help the relationship get off the ground, you know, the comfort of sharing the respect and love for Christ. Yet much to my chagrin, not all interesting Believers share the same love and respect for him that the Bible speaks about.
This isn’t my usual “get up and get going” article this week but there’s something on my heart I want to share and trust me, it will add value to your Christian walk and lifestyle.
Last week I attended a women’s summit where women of all persuasions were embraced. Now it was not my event and though I was an invited attendee, it isn’t my place to judge or comment on that. After all, Jesus did say, “go into all the world.” My presence and attitude was my living testament.
On the last day of the event, I agreed to have dinner with a lady who I eagerly wanted to network with. A couple of other ladies asked if they could join us. While walking to the restaurant I discovered by the conversations that we were all Christians. Settling in our seats around the table we placed our food orders and the two ladies ordered alcoholic beverages.
For me, Christianity means sound obedience to God’s word and the teachings of Christ including living by Proverbs 20:1: “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise.” It is not my place to judge these ladies; however it is obvious by this passage deception had obviously crept in. The Bible has much to say about many subjects and drinking alcoholic beverages is one of them. Unfortunately, too many Christians believe they can have a Budweiser in one hand and the Bible in the other—two diabolical opposing elements indeed.
My position is when Christians engage in worldly pleasures of drinking alcohol and even smoking cigarettes, it most certainly affects their testimony. Not to mention their health. How do you make the distinction of who is the Believer and who isn’t? I can certainly say that I wasn’t at all comfortable in that setting where these women were drinking. I could have easily been perceived as giving in to the appearance of evil (See 1 Thess. 5:22). God deems any compromise with the world system as sin mentioned in 1 John 2:15: “Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.” Alcoholic ingestion is of the world.
Making right decisions. My question to you is when you are faced with a temptation, do you generally go with the flow or do you weigh your decisions on the word of God? One of the ways not to be trapped by the snare of temptation is meditating on the word. There's nothing more essential to life and success than meditating on God's word. It is not laborious. Take a scripture, read it a loud, close your eyes and think about it then see it unfolding in your life. When your mind wonders, grab it back, read the scripture again and meditate on the end result for thirty minutes. And then you will make your way prosperous and enjoy sweet success. Stick with it!
The guidance within. I have another question for you. Do you depend on the guidance and direction of others, or do you stand firm on your own convictions? Often times we may allow others to make decisions for us because we feel incapable or we want to spare ourselves of being different from the crowd. I had a choice at that restaurant to ingest an alcoholic beverage in hopes to gain favor and become significant in the eyes of those ladies. Catch this; your significance is the sum of how you differ from others. Every decision we make not only affects us, but our families and the people around us. Even future generations are affected by our choices. There is no substitute for seeking God's Word for guidance and heeding to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in our heart.
Following your heart. And my last question, are you afraid to make a decision that others don’t like? Don’t be timid or uncomfortable by following your heart. And you shouldn’t have to give an explanation for what you feel led to do. If you’ve prayed about it, if your heart is full of it and it goes along with scripture, then follow your heart. God says he orders our steps. There may be times you may sense that you’re supposed to do a thing and you may not know why. That’s more than likely God’s pull on your heart. God has a plan, and you are part of that plan, but you won't live it if you are afraid to make a decision that others don’t like.
As Believers, we are being watched whether we’re aware of it or not. But God is ever present and we can hear his voice guiding and directing our decisions. Colossians 3:15 AMPLIFIED clearly tells us how we know this: “And let the peace [soul harmony which comes] from Christ rule [act as umpire continually] in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state] to which as [members of Christ's] one body you were also called [to live].” It appears that following God’s guidance yields peace, joy and righteousness. No confusion, no frustration.
Begin intentionally living by design today. I encourage you to “walk [live and conduct yourselves] in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing and increasing in and by the knowledge of God [with fuller, deeper, and clearer insight, acquaintance, and recognition] (Col. 1:10 AMP).
Now ask yourself these questions: Is there a scripture that applies to my situation? What does it say I should do?
I would love to hear from you on how God had ministered to you through this article. Contact me at dmurphy@eewmagazine.com
Dr. Deana Murphy is a speaker, educator, blogger, award winning author and founder and CEO of the LivingDesigns360 brand. She specializes in showing over-shadowed women how to renovate their lives and break-free of self-imposed barriers so they can own their power, reclaim their identity and live a blessed life. She helps women confidently change their lives and grow to master the habits of self-esteem, self-confidence and well-being functional in four core areas of life including life improvement, spiritual growth, professional achievement and home and family management. Her holistic methodology to life-improvement engages the unique approach of designing your internal self as one would design their house; room to room meaning from the attic to basement; head to toe. She’s your go-to resource for empowering life makeovers, whether you seek one-on-one consulting, group trainings, workshops or lifestyle makeover events.
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11 Comments
Reader Comments (11)
This article challenged me. I'm not going to sit here and lie and say it didn't. I grew up in a more liberal Christian household I guess you can say and me and my sisters ARE those women with the Budweiser's and I'm not sure anything is wrong with that if you drink in moderation.
Dr. Dee this was on point! I have been saved for 15 years but I find myself feeling the need to fit in with others when my lifestyle doesn't match theirs. I have prayed for more strength and courage to stand up. I'm working on this area right now.
I think personal conviction has everything to do with the direction and path you take. You have to know if God is leading you in a specific direction. Personally I don't drink. I feel convicted of sin when I do it but I don't know if we can make a blanket statement like that about it being wrong.
Dr. Deana, kudos for this article! I think as a professional woman it can be difficult to stand up if you are not strong. I work in a marketing agency with high-level executives and so I have to attend events sometimes where people are doing things that don't correspond with my belief or value system. That is when I have to square my shoulders and stand my ground. I don't judge others for what they do (that's between them and God) but there are some things that I JUST DON'T DO.
I am torn with what you are saying dr. Dee, this is my m first time coming to the blog, reading your blog and I find it very interesting I believe that when your drinking wrecklessly, that is a sin, but if they are drinking in moderation what is the sin against god? Everyone has different convictions from the Holy spirit and different situations convict people differently. I'm only 22 and I am finishing College where of course there are a lot of opportunities that arise to go out for drinks and I feel as though if I am in moderation theres is nothing wrong with a social drink
Hi Dr. Deana! I read your column all the time and I enjoy your motivational advice. I have mixed emotions about this article. Someone reading this who does drink socially might feel attacked when they read your words. Can you really say for sure that drinking is a sin if you don't overdo it? Don't know.
I don't drink. I was raised not to and I agree with you. Drinking is a no-no. I also think the point of your article is getting lost in the drinking debate! I like what you said about being obedient and following God even if we end up having to do things we don't like. "God has a plan, and you are part of that plan, but you won't live it if you are afraid to make a decision that others don’t like." Amen!
Great article and full of truth! Keep standing up for righteousness no matter WHO doesn't agree!
I don't see the issue with drinking. The Bible just warns us not to be drunk with wine. It doesn't say we can't drink at all. We just have to ensure that we are moderate.
With that being said, if I am in a situation where I know my one drink may impede my witness or be a hindrance to another believer present, I'll abstain. Like you said, you have to follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Hello All!
I am addressing this response to all of you for the sake of time and because it appears the majority of the responses indicate "drinking in moderation" isn't "sin" or harmful to your Christian walk.
I believe the Bible is very clear on how a Believer should behave, and I believe I've addressed it already in my article. I say to you again, now ask yourself these questions: Is there a scripture that applies to your situation? What does it say you should do?
It's really just that simple. God is very clear in that we must be holy as he is holy. If your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost, tell me how do you feel when ingesting alcoholic beverages into your temple? As I clearly stated in the article, I am not judging anyone. This is a very controversial issue to many Believers and I for one don't see why. the Bible is not ambiguous.
Next, I would ask what is your definition of moderation? One drink? Two drinks? Ten drinks? To me, it's like playing in the fire. You never know when you'll get burned. If drinking in moderation is acceptable to the Believer, then what else will he do in the name of "moderation." And who are you drinking with, other Believers? Friends who aren't Believers? Then we touch on the unequally yoked thing.
This is how I do it. I take God's word as the final authority in my life and live my life accordingly. It's very simple. And this is what his word says to me in 1 Cor. 7:1 NLT,
"Because we have these promises, dear friends, let us cleanse ourselves from everything that can defile our body or spirit. And let us work toward complete holiness because we fear God."
Showers of Blessings to all of you.
Warmly,
Dr. Deana
This is one of those topics where every believer will have to do what they feel is best. My observation of drinking is that God is not pleased when we are drunk. That is very clear. However, I believe that wine is something that can be enjoyed by a Christian should they want it. As stated in Psalms 104:14-15- "He does give wine to gladden the hearts of man" and so if you desire to drink wine and it is not for the purposes of getting drunk or makes another person fall in their walk, by all means enjoy another one of God's creations. As an adult, you know good and well what moderation is. When you eat, you know that 2 big Macs is more than you need before you consume it. You know when you are outline with your spending and are not being the lender that God will have you to be but are a borrower. If you know you are a person who doesn't know what in moderation means, then you do not need to drink. But for everyone else, spend time seeking all of the scriptures related to wine and alcohol in the Bible and decide what is best for you.