ARTICLE & INTERVIEW BY DIANNA HOBBS, EEW MAGAZINE PRESIDENT & CEO
Meet Kenny Pugh, former Casanova turned Relationship Strategist and author of “Can You Do It Standing Up: A Different Position on Relationships.” The single, saved, and successful motivational speaker, minister, and radio host has been celibate for six years, a decision that came after an extended period of sowing his wild oats.
To look at him now, you wouldn’t know the host of the popular Chat Kafe Radio Show once studied and mastered the art of wooing and sexually conquering women with no intention of committing.
But today, Pugh is a changed man.
He leads the singles ministry at a mega-church in metro Atlanta, was awarded the 2011 Gospel Choice “Rising Star” Award for his service in the community within the singles ministry, and has been a special guest speaker on the topic of abstinence and sexual purity at The Potter’s House, in Dallas, TX where world-renowned leader Bishop T.D. Jakes is pastor.
But intellectual Kenny Pugh’s journey to where he is today has been long, rocky, and filled with mistakes.
After losing his virginity at age 13, Pugh tells EEW Magazine, “I had a chance to taste of the forbidden fruit at a young age and that began to take me down a road of experiences.”
Those “experiences” of which he speaks were sexual in nature and occurred multiple times with diverse women. “I had a chance to connect with those who were rich, who were poor, who were educated, who were less educated, those who were more open and had experiences in life, those who were more sheltered. So I took that route and learned how to break the hearts of women.”
The self-professed heartbreaker was on an ill-conceived mission to psychoanalyze and conquer as many ladies as possible, but not just for pleasure. According to Pugh, he was performing research of sorts so that when “Mrs. Right” came along, he would know exactly how to connect with her the right way. “I didn’t want to leave any stone unturned,” he shares.
But his plan proved a faulty one, for it is impossible to understand the foundations of a successful relationship apart from God’s principles. But Pugh wouldn’t learn this until after he fell in love with the woman he thought was “the one.” Everything seemed to be going according to plan until she turned the tables. “I believe in the whole concept of sowing and reaping,” says Pugh, a biblical principle that no doubt played out in his life. The woman he thought was his “rib,” turned out to be a pain in his side, more aptly, his heart, which she broke in little bitty pieces.
Being on the receiving end of the heartbreak was difficult for the man who had done his research and thought he knew all there was to know about the female species.
Though devastated, the crumbling of the relationship turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It served as the catalyst for Pugh’s search for and acquisition of true wisdom on relationships. “Through my heartbreak I began to write, I began to document, I began to reach out to others and evaluate relationships,” says Pugh. “And it helped me to open my eyes and see, you know what? You, in your own strength, cannot orchestrate success [in relationships].”
That life-altering epiphany came in 2001, but it still took time before Pugh could untangle himself from the web of illicit sexual activity and relationship games. “I started to embark upon my [abstinence] journey at the beginning of 2004,” he says. “There were some bumps in the road early on, but then I was like, okay, it’s time to keep it moving and do this thing the right way.”
In 2006, Pugh did a complete 180. “I was like, no more with the funny business,” he tells EEW, which meant no sex whatsoever, not even oral. “People misinterpret that whole oral sex thing,” he explains. “[They ask if they don’t have intercourse but engage in oral sex] does that really count toward living an abstinent life and walking in celibacy? And I don’t think so, and I had to make that reflection along the way as well,” he confesses.
Reevaluating and revolutionizing his life, though difficult, with the help of God, became attainable. Now, with six years of celibacy under his belt, the reformed Casanova is sharing his Bible-based strategies and revelations from his book, Can You Do It Standing Up?, with singles across the nation who desire to live pure lives and experience healthy relationships.
When EEW Magazine asked Kenny Pugh to share an important lesson with women who are serious about remaining pure, he said, “Stay true to yourself.” Otherwise, according to the Relationship Strategist, men will beguile a woman who is not committed to her principles.
“One thing guys take advantage of is when they learn that you act and behave like a chameleon, where they find you’re trying to adjust yourself to be what we want. That can be used as a point of manipulation,” warns Pugh. “So stay true to who you are. If you are anchored in a relationship with God, then make sure that’s known and continue to abide in those principles. You shouldn’t be trying to get into any relationship anyway until that one with the Lord is in order.”
Good advice indeed.
To learn more about Kenny Pugh, visit him online at www.KennyPugh.com.
11 Comments
Reader Comments (11)
NOTE TO SELF: Don't be a chameleon girl! I love, love, love this and will have to check Mr. Kenny Pugh out for sure.
Six years? Wow! Especially after years of promiscuity? That's a miracle in and of itself. lol
This dude gets celebrated for sowing his wild oats but Lolo Jones gets mocked and ridiculed for her abstinence.
Dear Lord, just come on back now because all of this hypocrisy is beyond tired.
What if this were a woman bragging about her former conquests? She would be called a h*e and we know this.
I don't know if I can trust someone who was a womanizer. How do I know he isn't still? Hmmmm....
I personally find it inspiring that God is able to change someone's life so dramatically. A man cannot change who he was but he can change who he will become. What a come up for Kenny Pugh. Wow! Inspiring.
Kenny's ministry and example has withstood the litmus tests of time, with accountability to trusted friends and spiritual leaders. I believe that God can change any of us, if we're willing. With maturity, a firm commitment to Jesus Christ and accountability to godly leaders and friends, this is possible. I thank God for Kenny's ministry and the positive impact it has made in my life and in the lives of many others.
When God changes us, our past is no longer a description of our present.
As a black woman, I have had my share of bad experiences with some trifling men and it hurt me deeply. I know I let MYSELF get caught out there and I still have some resentment I'm working through. I'm glad God has transformed Kenny Pugh but I can't look at him without thinking about some of my ex's that disrespected me! Pray for me. LOL!
Ooh this is a hard one EEW. On one hand I am happy he is opening up about what NOT TO DO. That's valuable from someone who has so much experience. But it is hard to believe in the power of change. So many guys are just smooth and run game.
He WENT THERE with the oral sex thing I see. This brother is serious!!
Thank you for covering him! I am a woman who made some serious mistakes dealing with some Casanovas in my day!! Gotta check out his book and see more about what he has to say. Interesting.