She is someone I’ve loved since high school. Each time we talk, those “good ole days” make their way into our conversations. No matter how often we repeatedly discuss our shared experiences, we laugh about them as if we are hearing them for the first time all over again.
But yesterday, our conversation suddenly shifted.
Like an opened floodgate, she poured out what had been hidden for decades in the life rooms of her thoughts and heart. She shared something with me that I can’t seem to shake. Yet, her opening up about it has noticeably broken the shackles that had her bound, and now, has made her free.
Her transparency led me to ponder the fact that many women raised by selfish parents often internalize negative messages about themselves. Those reared in a hostile and abusive environment where the phrases “you are no good” and “it’s your fault” are the norm, early on, begin to question their competence and intelligence.
Nagging self-doubt rings loudly in their ears and just doesn't seem to go away.
My childhood friend, who suffered a lot during her upbringing, is determined to fight limiting beliefs, both personally and in the lives of her children. These days, she is an exceptional wife and mother who is intentionally creating a different and more affirming environment in her home.
What once plagued her is now her testimony. She uses the troubling experiences as a foundation for encouraging today’s youth to somehow move past their own hurt and fear, to pursue destiny.
You may have issues with self-doubt too, after seeds were planted in you through negative childhood messages. Because of this, you might struggle to give yourself credit, or often feel unworthy. But, no matter what your past history looks like, today is a new day.
It is time to uproot those seeds and plant new ones.
You can defy all odds and show the world you are worthy simply because Jesus paid the price for your freedom. If you are plagued by self-doubt, I want to share a few directions to help you embrace your recovery process.
If you constantly say things like, “I don’t feel up to the task”; “I’m not sure”; “It’s too hard”; or “I may be rejected,” these could be indicators of a weakening confidence. Don’t underestimate their destructive power. Listen intently to your words and begin questioning, “Why am I saying this?” You cannot conquer what you aren’t willing to confront.
Make the conscious effort to immediately shift the self-limiting statement and say the exact opposite. Counter your negative reaction with positive self-talk (Philippians 4:8). What you say is so powerful that you can talk your way into or out of almost anything. I suggest that you begin journaling your thoughts about how you will jump-start your confidence and authenticity. Design your own plan and follow through on it.
Research has found that positive support, warmth and coaching can directly reduce self-doubt. Perhaps a Christian mentor can better help you see your intrinsic value as a child of God. As a human, your intelligence, perception and self-determination far exceed that of any other earthly being.
Occasionally, we need to be reminded that God has given us the power to live the “exceedingly, abundantly, above all” life that Ephesians 3:20 speaks about. A motivating, God-fearing coach could empower you to push past the self-doubt that brings on unwanted mediocrity and complacency.
Even if others don't encourage or praise you, you can still thrive. Although we all enjoy being celebrated, never emotionally depend upon others to validate you. Believe in the woman God created you to be. It may be a challenge, but it is possible. Through Christ's power that rests on you, you can be like David and dance yourself to victory, and encourage yourself onward. Deep within is where your confidence lies.
So fight the demons of self-doubt, embrace your recovery, and discover your true spiritual DNA. Click this link to learn more about this process at an upcoming seminar.
And remember, as you are admonished in Hebrews 12:1, "Therefore, since you are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, throw off everything that hinders and so easily entangles you. Run to your purposed-place with perseverance, for the race is already marked out for you."
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