I really don’t like changing my phone number because it’s such a chore trying to let everyone know that there are seven new digits to call if they want to reach me. But recently, it became very clear that the guy I met at a Christian singles conference a little while ago had some real issues.
I told you about Evan.
When I first met him, he was dressed to the nines, handsome, funny, charming, and everything. My friends from church felt like I needed to stop being a prude and give the guy a try. So I reluctantly gave him my number, which turned out to be a big mistake. Evan sent me a shirtless picture and asked if he could come over at almost midnight just a few days after he met me, so I knew his mind was only on one thing.
I told “Mr. Abs,” who was more than happy to flash his six-pack in front of the mirror, to get lost. And that was the end of that. You can feel free to read the whole story here in case you missed it.
I thought I was completely rid of him until a couple weeks ago when I received a two-word text message that said, “Remember me?” When I saw the question on my iPhone screen, I didn’t recognize the number from which it came because I had deleted his information.
I quickly texted back, “Who is this?”
He hit me back with, “Evan.”
As soon as I saw those four letters, I got a flashback. I rolled my eyes and didn’t reply, but he didn’t take the hint apparently. This guy started sending me a barrage of long messages professing his love for God and saying I must have gotten “the wrong impression of him” before. "I'm not some kind of "sleazy jerk" he claimed.
One of the lines from the billion texts Evan fired off said, “God is first in my life, but we all have needs right? Some of those needs are sexual, but that doesn’t mean my faith isn’t important to me.”
Um, what?
When I read that compromising justification for fornication, I was even more turned off than before. I resented the fact that this man was trying to make a strong case for propositioning me to commit sexual sin. He even asked me to send him a picture of me, while sending a link to a song by Taio Cruz called "Dirty Picture" featuring some singer named Ke$ha.
This boy had lost his whole entire mind!
I almost sent a message back to him letting him have it. But then I thought about it. I had already told him I wasn’t that kind of woman. I asked him before not to contact me anymore. I firmly stood my ground and remained silent. But I was wondering, "Why was Evan still trying me?"
Over the next several days, his messages became more graphic in nature and he sent more images of him in just underwear and such. After receiving a flood of inappropriate messages I started deleting everything sent from his number without opening it up. I refused to give him one more minute of my time by allowing him to take up space in my mind.
Finally, when it occurred to me that he was just not going to stop, I had my number changed. I'd had it up to here! I was tired of the foolishness. Getting a new number was an inconvenience, but the experience taught me a great lesson. Aside from being reminded of how important it is to be discriminating about the men I give access into my world, I thought about something else.
Fellas who are not serious about living holy are not just outside the church, but they are also inside the four walls of the church. Some are married; others are single. Some are in the pulpit; others are in the pews.
They look the part, dress the part, and even sound the part… for a while. But then, their true colors eventually come shining through. And if we as single women aren’t careful, committed, and consistent when it comes to keeping ourselves holy, we will be beguiled just like Eve was by the serpent in the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3:13. Their slick tongues and conniving ways will have us caught up, and as I always say, I refuse to go down that path again.
I know what it's like to be wanted for my body but not truly loved or respected and I'm sure someone reading this knows that horrible feeling very well too.
And you can agree that if we aren't serious about fighting for our purity, integrity, dignity, and salvation, by standing our ground, we will bow down, yield to temptation, and eat of the forbidden fruit.
From experience, I can tell you, it isn’t worth it.
Pleasure for a moment can lead to heartache for a lifetime. So do whatever you need to do to remain pure. Change your number if you have to. Cut off some people’s access. Ditch some old friends that aren't any good for you. Do whatever it takes to position yourself for a lifestyle of holiness.
This will help ensure that you don’t mistake a “fling” for the “real thing," or fall back into an old pattern God has delivered you from. '
Standing your ground will ensure that you are standing in the right position to receive the right man God has for you when the time comes.
So tell me, how have you had to stand your ground in the past? What are some of the things you do not to get caught up with men who have charming words but deceitful hearts?