We were all rushing through New York City’s LaGuardia airport so we wouldn’t miss our connecting flight to a ministry conference. There was a group of five women traveling from our church to get information on effective singles ministry techniques. After the conference, we would have to share what we learned, distribute the materials, and apply the best methods locally. I was very excited about going and attending a workshop on “Being Saved and Single in a Secular Society,” but I was also sort of nervous.
It was only my third time flying and I’m not a big fan of airplanes, especially because my very first flight two years ago turned out to be extremely turbulent. On my way to a family event, the plane ride was so bumpy, a few people were actually screaming out in fear, which didn’t make a good impression on me. Ever since that time, I have to do a lot of praying and bracing myself for flights. Truthfully, I avoid them. If I can get there driving, I will hit the road before flying the friendly or not-so-friendly skies.
Once boarded, I strapped myself in and closed my eyes. I was trying not to think about anything. Then a woman said, “Excuse me ma’am, I think I’m next to you.” So I quickly unlatched myself and got up so she could get over to the window seat. When the kind-looking woman settled herself, she made the usual small talk and then reached down into her laptop bag and pulled out some paper and a book. In the process, she lost her grip and dropped what was in her hand.
Papers flew everywhere.
As I helped gather them up, I noticed a sheet just like the one I had. It was the workshop schedule and itinerary. We were headed to the same place!
“I’m on my way to this same conference,” I told her smiling. Immediately, we felt connected, which opened up a dialogue about singleness.
The woman whose name I learned was Estelle told me she was hoping to discover ways to remain abstinent because she and her boyfriend of 4 years had just recommitted their lives to God a few months earlier. They have been abstaining and neither of them wants to have sex until marriage.
“Wow, that’s great!” I told her, thinking about what a wonderful blessing it is to have a mate who is willing to wait. Estelle shared her story about how the two of them met, all they have been through together, and how God transformed their lives. “He has been so good about it,” she smiled. “I never thought we would be living an abstinent lifestyle, but our relationship is stronger and better for it.”
After listening to this stranger who seemed more like a long lost friend, I felt encouraged and inspired, especially because so many people in our society say men are not willing to wait until marriage for sex. A May 2012 article in Ebony Magazine asserted that, “…finding a Christian man who is actually willing to wait may be easier onscreen,” insinuating that it’s more likely to happen in the movies. Quoting statistics from Relevant Magazine that said as many as 80 percent of young unmarried Christians, between 18-30, have had sex, Ebony painted a bleak picture of the possibility of abstaining from fornication.
But as one who knows what it’s like to go from having frequent premarital sexual relations to a lifestyle of celibacy, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I know it’s possible. No statistics can overcome the power of my personal testimony, or the testimony of many others like Estelle and her partner, who are holding on and holding out.
I know meeting this woman with a pure passion and zeal for Christ was a moment divinely orchestrated by God. She affirmed for me and by extension, you, that there are women and men of God out here willing to be led by spiritual conviction and not fleshly temptation.
Our discussion also confirms that it is not far-fetched, implausible, nor impossible to expect to have a relationship with a God-fearing, God-serving, God-honoring man, ready and eager to do things the Father’s way.
So be encouraged in your singleness right where you are today.
If you are single, saved, and struggling to remain pure, God is able to empower you. If you are in a committed relationship and desire to abstain from sex before marriage, God will give the both of you strength to remain holy.
No matter what secular society says, remember the words Jesus spoke in Matthew 19:26 NLT. He said, "Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible."
Purity is possible in your life and mine through Christ who strengthens us.