Back when I was with my ex who cheated on me repeatedly, one day, when I was taking clothes out of the dryer, I found another pair of woman's underwear in the laundry. When I confronted him about it, do you know he tried to lie and say he bought them for me, but it was a surprise? The lacy things weren't even my size!
I let him have it and said a few choice words that I would not repeat now that my mouth has been sanctified. But after all that cussing, screaming, crying and threatening to leave him, you know what I did? I stayed right there and made up excuses for him. Shamefully, I even thought, maybe he did buy them for me. Maybe I am overreacting.
I wasn't ready to face the truth, even while holding some other lady's thongs in my hand.
My internal alarm was screaming, but I remained in that toxic atrocity I called a relationship. I rationalized his unacceptable behavior and came up with a list of reasons why it wasn't a good time to move on, though I promised myself I would someday.
I wasn't ready to face the facts because it was too painful, but that was one of the biggest mistake of my life, and one I don't want you to make. So let me give you an analogy to make this very plain.
Smack. Sigh. Snore.
Those are the three sounds you’ll hear in my bedroom when my alarm clock goes off in the morning, in that order. Whenever the loud blaring sound alerts me that it’s time to wake up, I hit snooze and drift right back to sleep.
Clearly, I am not a morning person. I don’t know why, but my bed always feels extra comfy when it’s time to get out of it at dawn. Even after throwing the covers back and forcing myself from beneath them, I drag around the house like a zombie with one eye open. It takes me a while to fully wake up.
Well, last week, I hit the snooze button one too many times and missed a highly important meeting that had been months in the making. I was so upset with myself! But it serves me right for ignoring my alarm and doing what I felt like doing, instead of what I should have been doing. I missed a big opportunity and learned a very valuable lesson, which applies to us single ladies.
We all have “alarms” in us that go off when something is wrong and before we’re about to go too far. We don’t just “fall into” sexual compromises, bad relationships, or I-know-better-than-that scenarios. At some point, the warning alarm sounds.
But the question is, do we listen or treat it like a physical alarm clock and hit "snooze" so we can do what we feel like doing anyway?
As the saying goes, "You snooze, you lose."
After smacking the alarm off once, then again and again, finally, it ends up being too late. Before we know it, we have gone too far. We're in too deep. We've crossed a boundary. We've overstepped that line we drew in the sand.
We say yes when we should say no; we get involved when we need to walk away; we give it another chance when we know we should break it off for good; we stay even after all signs say the relationship is doomed; we indulge in sinful, lustful pleasure instead of exercising restraint and holding off.
But ignoring alarms comes with a hefty price.
Sooner or later, it ends with us saying, “I shouldn't have ____________________. You fill in the blank.
But it doesn't have to be that way. God wants to help us so we won't make poor relationship decisions, or endure even poorer treatment. He loves us so much. We are His queens, daughters, and esteemed ladies of divine purpose and favor.
That's why when God sends a warning, we need to know He does it for a reason, and listen.
Going forward, I beg of you. Don't turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to the reality of things, no matter how ugly, unpleasant, or undesirable they may seem. Face the facts. Admit and deal with the truth, even when it hurts. God will help you through it.
And I promise, if you trust God's leading and learn to get up, get out, and get away from a person, place, or situation when He tells you to, your life will be so much better for it.
Take it from me.
Do you have trouble paying attention to and responding appropriately to the "alarms" that go off along your single journey? I love hearing from you so please share!