Gabrielle Union, Host of the BET Honors, cracked a joke that had everyone laughing out loud.
The girlfriend of 29-year-old Miami Heat player, Dwayne Wade, said, "Why are you crying on the floor after your loss to the Dallas Mavericks? You have a ring! I should be the one crying. Where's my ring?"
Then she looked at her bare ring finger and had the whole auditorium in stitches.
I’m sure after the knee-slapping laughter stopped, most people thought nothing more of her commentary outside the context of humor. And she got what she wanted out of the deal—a moment of levity.
These days, living together and having a sexual relationship outside of wedlock is viewed as the norm in most sectors of society. The most recent Census Bureau report on families and living arrangements shows an estimated 7.6 million unmarried couples lived together, including many who are raising children. Statistics also show that within 3 years, one of two things typically happens; the couple marries or breaks up.
Of course, as Christians, we know this is not pleasing to God.
Before the Lord saved me, I’m not proud of it, but I lived with my boyfriend who shall remain nameless.
I was his “wifey,” as he titled me, but I wanted to be a wife. For me, that was the goal.
For him, not so much.
Although Gabrielle might have been inquiring about a ring just for laughs, I really did want to be married. I was madly in love and performing all the duties of a woman who stood at the altar and exchanged vows with her groom.
I’m embarrassed by my gullibility now, but back then I thought he would “wife me up,” we would have lots of babies, and live happily ever after.
Things didn’t end up that way for us, though.
Boy was I naïve and my grandmother let me know it every chance she got.
“Over there thinking you’re grown playing house,” she would say with both sides of her mouth turned down shaking her head vigorously. All of our family knows that’s her look of disapproval. “Shacking up ain’t the answer Ashley baby, because he don’t need to buy the cow when he’s getting the milk for free.”
I used to be so mad I wanted to punch the wall. But I would never dream of disrespecting her. I would simply say, “I know you don’t approve Sweet Ma but we love each other and we’re gonna get married.”
Thank God my grandmother was there for me to cry on her shoulder when the relationship fell apart.
I had given so much of myself away and felt like I had lost my dignity.
That relationship failure and the deep pain it left behind, however, was what really guided me to the foot of Calvary’s cross. I laid my burden and pain at Jesus’ feet and he healed my wounds.
These days, I have Godly wisdom and understanding. I know what it means to be single, saved, and satisfied.
And also, I know the joke Gabrielle Union made, though it drew lots of laughs, isn’t funny at all.
I am not created to be somebody's wifey.
Giving my heart, body, and commitment to a man is a serious decision.
I am worth more than an endless cycle of playing house.
I deserve a home with a spouse who loves God and me enough to commit until death do us part.
You do too.
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to discuss current issues related to single women and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way God intends.
Email Ashley Peterson:
ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com