Herman Cain and his wife Gloria Cain wave to the crowd before announcing he has suspended his presidential campaign after allegations of an affair. (Photo Credit: AFP )
“I really don’t want to hear it anymore,” I told my friend—a statement that was met with a shocked and somewhat insulted look.
I didn’t mean to be harsh. I just didn’t want to hear any more talk about how “all men are dogs, especially the corny ones in the pulpit.”
The conversation started at Denny’s after church when a few of the ladies from the singles ministry decided to go out and grab a bite to eat. I was extremely hungry, so initially I was too busy chomping down on my classic cheeseburger and fries to share my personal response to this ruthless man-bashing session.
The ladies hopped from one topic to the next. First they talked about the now deceased pastor, Zachery Tims, and his rendezvous with a stripper. Next, the topic skipped over to Bishop Noel Jones dating reality TV star, Lisa Raye and how they didn’t approve of that. Then, finally, things got really ugly when the discussion turned to Herman Cain and all the allegations against him.
I had to sit through comments like, “These men in the church are the worst ones,” or “I may as well go to the club and find a man, because the so-called ‘saved’ ones ain’t no different.”
On and on the convo went, getting more cynical by the minute.
By the time I swallowed my last bite of burger that I had eaten way too fast, one of my girlfriends asked me, “So Ashley, what do you think?”
I could only be honest which meant telling them I’d had enough of the negativity. I also shared how, as single women, if we focus on all the bad things, it will discourage us from believing there are truly saved and faithful men of God out there. “I choose to focus on the good,” I told them. “If I close my mind to the possibility that God has a man of integrity for me, I won’t recognize him when he comes along. I’ll dismiss him and dump him in the dog pile, and I don’t want to miss out on what’s mine."
That doesn't mean I'm blind and don't notice scandals. I watch TV and read the news just like anyone else, but I choose to focus on the positive, not negative.
After I got off my soap box and finished my speech at Denny's, while periodically picking the burger out of my teeth, it was met with a playfully snide remark.
“You are so deep."
I laughed when I heard that.
Right then, I knew what I would talk to my single ladies who read EEW about.
Instead of making this a one-sided article, I thought I'd start a discussion asking 5 questions. Please use the comments section to answer any one of the five, or all of them if you want too! :~)
Here we go:
1. Do you think it is somehow "deep" or "idealistic" to focus on the positive examples of manhood out there and believe God for Mr. Right?
2. Are you optimistic or skeptical about the future prospects of a man "finding you" and lableing you his "good thing"like Proverbs 18:22 talks about?
3. Do you get fearful, sad, anxious, or angry when you hear about a man of God falling into sin and damaging his relationship with his spouse?
4. Do you, like me, get annoyed with the "all men are dogs" or the "all men cheat" theory?
5. Or, are you the one engaging in negative talk and gossip about "doggish" men?
Be honest and talk back to me.
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to discuss current issues related to single women and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way God intends. Email her at ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.