I don’t have a Facebook page or Twitter account as of two and a half years ago. I know I probably sound like a Neanderthal right now, because pretty much everybody I know does some form of social networking. All my friends and family endlessly grill me about why I’m not online anymore.
But I wasn’t always an Internet hermit. I actually used to spend a lot of time social networking. I was consistently posting up new pictures of myself, family, and friends. Ms. Ashley Peterson stayed liking somebody else’s status, adding my two cents to conversations, or re-tweeting something I thought was cool or interesting. I was quite the social butterfly.
*Stares into space nostalgically remembering my much hipper, cooler days*
I didn’t even mind letting people use my Facebook wall as a billboard to promote their event or website (as long as it wasn’t anything inappropriate). I loved everything about my online connections.
So I know you’re probably wondering what led me to delete my accounts so suddenly. Well, since you’re my single, saved, and satisfied family and we’re on this singles journey together, I’ll just come right out and tell you.
It seemed like all (and I do mean all) of my ex-boyfriends would find me online.
Ugh!
With just a couple clicks of their mouse and a quick search, all the praying, crying, and healing I had to do to get over them, and stay away from them in real life, was undermined. And quite frankly, they were last people on earth I wanted to hear from again.
One message in particular from a guy I had been head-over-heels in love with sent me into please-help-me-Jesus-right-now mode. We’ll just call him Ronald and he had me smitten. We went through a lot together and were in a relationship for three whole years. I thought he was the one, okay? It took me a long time to get over him with his fine self!
So when he sent me an inbox message on Facebook looking so handsome, all the progress I thought I made fled the scene. All that remained was me and my unresolved issues with my unrequited love. “Hey Ms. Ash, looking good,” his message started out. “I miss you. Can we catch up?”
Dummy that I was, I gave him my new number and let him talk to me.
3 months later I was right back where I started—scorned, cheated on, and mad at myself for being that gullible. And right then, I took a long, hard look at myself. I had spent so much time filling the void he left with Facebook friends and Twitter followers that I hadn’t given myself time to heal.
For me, social networking filled a void of sorts. It gave me something to busy myself with when I was feeling sad or lonely. Gabbing away with other people, updating my status five times a day, and staying connected to everybody else in my cyber circle kept my mind off of him.
But when he showed up, I came face-to-face with the truth: I was not over him.
So I prayed and felt that God was telling me I really needed to disconnect from everything so I could get connected and in tune with the Lord. It was hard at first because I was on my social networking sites several times a day. But I wanted to be obedient. So I deleted my accounts and haven’t been back since.
What God told me to do is not for everyone, I know. But it was the best decision of my life.
God has built me up and strengthened me so much since then. Now I can truly say I’m solo, but not so low that I’ll let myself get sucked into a toxic relationship with an ex that breaks hearts for sport.
I’m solo, but not so low that I’ll compromise my standards just to feel the warm embrace of a man.
I’m solo, but not so low I’ll ignore the warning signs of his infidelity so I don’t risk being alone, again.
I’m solo, but not so low that I’ll go in between the sheets with him just so he won’t leave me for another woman who is willing.
Who’s with me?
As single, saved, and satisfied sisters, we have to view our singleness differently. It is not a plague or curse. It is an opportunity to draw close to God so our thinking won’t be so low, but so high that we won’t compromise; so high that we will expect only the best God has to offer; so high that the man we welcome into our lives will live out God’s standards and nothing less.
These days, you might not find me online, but you’ll find me in God’s presence which is why I’m solo, and yet, so high.
"Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God." Colossians 3:1 NASB
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to discuss current issues related to single women and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way God intends.
Email Ashley Peterson:
ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com