One of my relatives has had a lot to say about a lot of my business. She has told me how I should interact with my husband, particularly what I withhold from him (physically, emotionally, information-wise and financially), how I should care for my recovering mother, and how I should parent my children. I would not mind hearing what she has to say if she were being reasonable, if she were giving me practical and godly advice because she saw I lacked wisdom.
No, she just believes that her opinions have merit because “the good Lord has let me live on this earth longer than you.” But her biggest issue is that my husband and I decided to home educate our children. I know homeschooling isn’t novel and parents are opting to educate their children in a number of ways, but to this 70-plus year-old woman, homeschooling is foreign and has no place in our family.
“He’s going to miss the most important day of his life, his first day of kindergarten,” she said after my oldest turned 5.
“Why do you want to do that, Rhonda?” she said another time.
“How is he going to have friends, Rhonda?” she wanted to know.
And each time she commented, like the time I had to tell her she could no longer babysit my son because she defied our instructions in nursing his cold, I said something like “We have been given stewardship over our son’s life and we must do what we feel best for him.” My response didn’t stop the comments, just made them go to hushed tones in my presence and with others in phone conversations that always got back to me. I hurt knowing that she (and other family members) thought us unwise for our parenting choice, though we knew without a doubt we heard from God regarding our decision.
We all have a relative, a friend, a co-worker, a neighbor or a church member like my relative. They will always try to tell you how to raise your kids, especially when you didn’t even ask. And sometimes their words hurt; no one wants to be rejected. But we have to accept that our hurt—our suffering for righteousness’ sake—is inevitable as we raise our children while keeping the Kingdom first.
“Remember the words I spoke to you: 'No servant is greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also” (John 15:20-NIV).
“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:10-12-NIV).
In both scripture references, Jesus tells us four things we need to know as we follow him:
1) what we must remember;
2) what people’s reaction to us will be;
3) what our reward will be; and
4) what our reaction to others should be.
Folks persecuted Jesus—the giver of God’s word and God himself, and the prophets—the deliverer of God’s word, so we shouldn’t expect any less for us.
When we stand for righteousness’ sake, when we stand for Jesus, by raising our children according to God’s leading, people will insult us, seek to harass and harm (persecute) us in other ways, and lie about us. These all come with righteousness territory. If we stand on righteous ground, we will be hit.
With our troubles comes triumph. Jesus promises that we are blessed as a result of our persecution. Blessings are divine favor that comes from God. We receive divine favor while we are on earth and when we get to heaven. Our seeking to be righteous in spite of our persecution proves that we really belong to Jesus and are fit to be admitted into the divine kingdom. And when we get to heaven we have great rewards waiting for us.
We should rejoice and be glad, first, knowing that we have a place in heaven and, second, that we have great rewards waiting for us in heaven.
As Christian parents, we have been called to raise godly children (Malachi 2:15). So in our attempt to follow God’s instructions for raising our children, persecution is inevitable. But God says we are blessed. Children are a gift from God to be given back to him. We give our children back to God when we raise them with Kingdom purpose in mind. We give them to the world when we raise them with mama, auntie, granny and friends’ ungodly thoughts in mind.
If we know that God has told us what to do concerning our children and have followed through on God’s word, we can trust that God will make things right and know that we don’t have to fight to defend ourselves. In fact, our righteous stand may change people’s hearts toward God.
Note the last part of Matthew 15:20: “If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.”
We know that some, like us, obeyed the teaching of Christ and were forever changed. As we press on to raise righteous children, we must know that not only will our children but others also will be in line to obey God’s word through our uncompromising stand. Even in the face of persecution, we can’t abandon our parenting methods for our comfort or the comfort of others.
We will always be criticized for something. So we might as well receive the criticism for parenting while keeping the Kingdom first (1 Peter 3:14-18).