Bi-weekly column by Rhonda J. Smith
I don't think a week goes by without my 9 year old saying "I love this house. I don't ever want to leave it." While I gush about the love and safety he feels that makes him declare a desire for eternal rooting, he doesn't know that my husband and I are preparing for his exit. If you ask Flynn, he knows exactly how many years, down to the exact months, when he believes Joshua should be ready to take flight. Though I have no plans to have a 30 year old living in my basement, I'm less occupied with thoughts about the day when Joshua should be on his own. But together we make sure Joshua and his brothers know basic life skills and impart in them spiritual principles so they can make it on their own.
People keep telling me that though I'm preparing my sons to leave the nest I should also prepare for them to return; the second living wave is inevitable, they say. Of course if my children get a bad break they are welcome to return, but we're doing all we can to break their dependence on us. Plus after we’re dead, coming back to live with us or seek us for guidance will not be an option. Above physical life insurance we must prepare spiritual life insurance for our children for when we pass away. This way we ensure they know how to seek God and His Kingdom, knowing that He will add to that whatever else they need (Matthew 6:33).
"Moreover I will be careful to ensure that you always have a reminder of these things after my decease” 2 Peter 1:15.
Peter told this to his disciples because he wanted to make sure they understood “these things,” the seven qualities of a strong believer, before he died. This was not a one-time occurrence but a teaching that Peter told his disciples he wanted "to put you always in remembrance...as long as I am in this tabernacle" (2 Peter 2:12-13). Likewise, with our children being our chief disciples, while we are alive we should "not be negligent" in teaching them to have virtue; knowledge; self control; patience; godliness; brotherly kindness; and love (2 Peter 1:5-7, 12). These are the basic qualities that all believers should strive toward so we "never fall" (2 Peter 2:10). I will talk about each of these in future columns but for now know that 2 Peter 1:8-9 tell us that embracing the seven characteristics:
1. Prevent idleness. When we help our children learn these characteristics, they won’t have time to be idle. Studying, seeking to understand and then applying them to their lives will keep them (and us) plenty busy.
2. Produce fruit. Matthew 13:23 says, “But he who received seed on the good ground is he who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and produces: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty." As we help our children not just hear these seven qualities through disciplines like memorization but truly understand them, they will bear fruit and a lot of it. The understanding is not just an intellectual grasp but a change in their behavior to reflect their comprehension of each trait.
3. Prevent blindness. The blind here means mentally dark and has the same meaning as the word used in 2 Corinthians 4:4 that says Satan “has blinded the minds of unbelievers.” When our children embody these characteristics they won’t behave like unbelievers, whose discernment regarding the things of God has been blunted.
4. Provide a telescopic view. When these characteristics are missing from believers’ lives, we are short-sighted, only able to operate according to what’s immediately happening. When our children walk out these qualities they will be able to make decisions with the future and past in mind, causing them to have sound judgment.
5. Prevent memory loss. When our children have mental clarity and the ability to remember the past, they won’t forget what life was like without Jesus Christ and, with hope, continue to embrace the seven characteristics to have a fruitful life.
Even if your children have yet to make a decision for Christ, you will lay a foundation for that day when you teach them these traits. And if you have not studied these characteristics for yourself, your life will be doubly enriched as you learn alongside your children. Don’t worry about not knowing how to teach them. A part of parents’ diligence in teaching is to make sure we know how to teach. It’s okay then for you to begin this journey of preparing to prepare your children for your death by learning Bible study skills. Take a class at church or a local Bible school, get coaching from a skilled friend or mentor or find an online course on how to study the Bible and another one on teaching strategies.
We have great and precious promises waiting for us to claim and we miss out on them for lack of making every effort to add to our faith. Let us not be the cause of our children stumbling because we failed to teach them what they needed to become "partakers in the divine nature," being like Christ and able to escape “the corruption in this world because of sinful desire" (2 Peter 1:4). Let’s work hard to keep the Kingdom first even after we have passed away.
What are some of the lessons you think are important to teach our children so they can develop strong personal relationships with the Lord independently of us? Leave me a comment or email me at rhonda@eewmagazine.com.
Rhonda J. Smith is a former college speech instructor & communications coordinator turned full-time homemaker & journalist. The writing of this committed wife and mother who earned her Bachelor’s degree in journalism and a Master’s degree in communication from Wayne State University, Detroit, has been featured in The Detroit News, Newsday (New York), Chicago Tribune, Daily Tribune (Royal Oak, MI),
Guideposts, and Charisma Magazine.
Rhonda frequently speaks at ministry functions, writes and edits newsletters for Christian ministries, and teaches public speaking workshops. Three times a week, she encourages women to lean on God's strength instead of their own through her blog, Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman. She, her husband and three sons attend Evangel Ministries in Detroit, where they live.
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