Guest Contributor D.D. Dunbar, EEW Magazine
You’re a winner. You’re amazing. You’re smart, capable and talented. You are special and you can be anything you want to be. You can do it!
I hadn’t heard those words in a while. I was the new kid at my school after going to live with my aunt once my parents were killed in a car crash. My father was a drunk and had been all my life. He was verbally, mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive to both me and my mom, but especially my mother.
She was my She-ro. She always told me how beautiful and capable I was before her life was cut off.
One night, twenty –eight years ago, my dad got behind the wheel of the car after having too much to drink and lost control of the vehicle. My mother died instantly. My dad died of internal bleeding the next day in the hospital.
Before that tragic crash changed my life forever, about every other night at home, I would bury my head under the covers. I tried to hide from the yelling and dull thuds of mom’s body being slammed into the wall repeatedly.
Then, there was silence. It was deafening silence that evoked feelings of relief and horror at the same time. Was all quiet because he finally did kill mom this time? Or, did he, by the grace of God, just stop?
When I would hear my mother’s voice call out to me to wake up for school, that’s when I knew for sure. She was still alive.
I didn’t know how she survived, but somehow she did and would rise to cook breakfast every morning. Even if she had to limp around the kitchen, she didn’t break her routine.
I never mentioned the bruises, or dared ask why she moaned in pain while trying to bend over to get something. I already knew. But honestly, I think she thought I didn’t know sometimes. But kids are smart. I was very sharp and in tune with what was happening.
After she was gone from this earth, I missed her terribly.
I didn’t know on that first day that Mrs. Evans, a young, bubbly African American school counselor would become like my mother. From the initial time she looked at me, I could see the kindness and pity in her eyes. I don’t know why I did, but I knew deep down in my heart that she truly cared about me.
Although Mrs. Evans couldn’t take the place of my mother, because no one can ever fill those shoes, she was the best “surrogate” I could have ever prayed for.
To this day, we are extremely close.
She has been with me through every major decision, pushing me, inspiring me, and helping me believe in myself. Before I was saved and developed a relationship with God, I felt like I was just a lucky kid to have met someone like her.
But now I know it was God all along, connecting me with Mrs. Evans, who would be a huge part of me realizing and fulfilling my life’s purpose.
Now that I am fully grown, whenever I feel doubtful about what my future holds, I go back to that first day of school. I always find comfort in knowing God has a plan.
He has help waiting for each of us before we even arrive at our place of trouble. He will always send the help and hope we need.
The same God that used David to take care of Mephibosheth, the lame son of Jonathan and grandson of Saul, after his family had been slaughtered in 2 Samuel 9, will do the same for us. When David came to Mephibosheth’s house, he asked, “Is there anyone still left of the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”
I have read that scripture many times while crying, because it makes me think of how God always has a plan to “show kindness” to us, His children.
He’ll go to great lengths to bless and sustain us in hard and desperate times.
During your darkest moment, God has something or somebody to minister to your needs. It’s His way of showing kindness and letting you know He cares.
What ways can you remember God showing you kindness in a difficult period of time in your life? How did you know it was Him? Did you know it right away or did you have to look back on it to figure it out?