Article By Evangelista Parker
stared at an old picture I had taken of us in a happy moment and brushed away tears. I had just broken up with the man I thought would marry me. We were engaged for two months after being together for three years. We were happy (at least I thought so) and headed toward the altar. Everyone in my family was giddy and excited about me becoming a missus... finally.
In my late 30s I had waved the single life goodbye and was grinning from ear-to-ear thinking about how I was only 3 months away from a totally new existence.
This was it, I thought. I had discovered my Boaz and we were well on our way to living happily ever after. But I received a devastating phone call one Saturday afternoon.
“I can’t do this,” my fiancé’s voice said.
I followed up with a question: “Do what? What can’t you do honey?” I thought he was having a bad day, you know, or possibly wanting to find a new job since he had been talking about feeling unfulfilled at work. But I was way off.
“I can’t get married Evie,” he mumbled.
I don’t know why it felt like he yelled it, but the sound of those words just kept reverberating: “I’m sorry. I love you but I’m not ready.”
Whatever he said after that didn’t matter. It was all a blur. He destroyed me that day and the weeks to come were worse. Telling family the wedding was off, calling venues and cancelling orders was excruciating. Explaining to my bridesmaids that my groom-to-be had decided to move on was gut-wrenching, especially when they broke down crying about it. I felt like a cross between a total idiot and a charity case. I felt so stupid like he had played me for a fool. And the fact that all my friends and family “felt so, so sorry” for me, made matters worse.
It was the way they looked at me. Their apologetic and sympathetic expressions just made me want to curl up into a fetal position and hide away from the world.
After I finished delivering the earth-shattering news to all the parties that needed to know, the reality of it all really set in. One day at home, I broke down crying, again. Like a child throwing a tantrum, I laid my grown self down in the middle of the kitchen floor (I had gone in there to get some milk) and just screamed and bawled.
I was so bad off, I took personal days and vacation time I had accumulated at work to try to get away and pull myself together. I was truly heartbroken. Day after day I stayed in bed languishing, mourning the loss of my fiancé, feeling unloved and unwanted.
But early one particular day, I got on my laptop and looked in my email. I noticed that one of my former bridesmaids had sent me a message. It said, “Thought this would help. Enjoy!”
Inside there was an MP3 attached. I downloaded it and the snippet was from Bible teacher Joyce Meyer talking about how much God loves us and will heal us of our hurts.
Listen to it below.
I was floored after listening. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed, but not from sadness. I was just so moved by how much God loves little old me and would think enough of me to send a message my way that spoke directly to me in my time of need.
If you are hurting, broken, and in need of a word from God, He's got a message just for you. You're reading it right now, in fact. He wants you to know that you can go boldly to the Lord with your cares and prayers, and He will be just what you need Him to be. Daily, God is mindful of me and you. He doesn't want to see us in agony and pain.
He cares.
When you're struggling through life it can be hard to see and believe God values you or that He is somehow aware of your dire circumstances, but He does and He is. This is why I so love the scripture found in Psalm 8:4 NIV that says, "What is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"
Even though it may be tough to fathom, God sees, knows, and has compassion toward me and you. He also has a word and a way out for you.
About the Writer
Evangelista Parker is a writer, ministry communications administrator and a “blissfully happy” Sunday School teacher at her Ohio community church. After 30 years of searching for life’s meaning Evangelista found God at a small church revival and has been living for Him and sharing the good news of the gospel for more than 20 years.