QUESTION:
Dear Coach Scott,
This is my scream for help! I want to live. I've existed my entire life but desire to live. I encounter obstacles after obstacles and go into survival mode through situations believing that my time will come—that after this is over, it will be my time but it never happens. I desire to live with all my heart. I am a 45 year old single mother of one and I desire to live. I just don't know how to reach past the oppression to the opportunities as each time I run into overwhelming obstacles!
ANSWER:
Dear Sister,
I hear you and most importantly, so does He! I know all too well the anguish of feeling like you’re living in quicksand. It feels as if your efforts are in vain and no matter how hard you try…you always end up worse off than when you started. But don’t make the mistake of going by what your five senses tell you. If you want life to change, you must live by what faith in the Word tells you!
Right now your heart may be breaking and failing under the weight of disappointment and regret. In order to cope, you harden your heart and allow anger, resentment and bitterness to fill the holes long vacated by your hopes and dreams. Help is within you reach. Here are a few steps to get you started:
1. H – Heap on some hope:
Before you can move from existing to living, you must understand that you are not alone. The desire to change, to live, to be different and to be free…it doesn’t come from you. It comes from a deeper part of you that is still in connection with your assignment. Although you may consciously be at a loss for solutions and direction, in your heart you know there is still more to be done. This part of you is still convinced of God’s sovereignty. It is still filled with hope and sees the possibilities that are yours because you walk with God.
Your testimony is, and always will be, “I love the Lord, and He heard my cry.” You’re a mother. You know what happens to your heart at the sound of your child’s cry and the sight of their suffering. You are not indifferent or removed—you are moved to change things! Your cry has power with God.
The only things that are truly overwhelming are the things that dwarf our image of God. In order for you to see life correctly, you must see Him clearly.
2. E – Eliminate the hideaways:
You have to face the mental strongholds that send you scurrying into “survival mode.” God does not call us survivors; He tells us that we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the Word of our testimony. Survivors get through what happens to them. Overcomers, get over what happens to them and that is what puts them in a position of power to achieve the things they want.
You survive when you face problems in your own strength and with your own resources. You overcome when you face them with God. So, the next step is to change what you believe, by changing what you trust. Stop trusting in your own strength, trust in Him and His character. Stop trusting in what you can see and feel, trust in His ability to change your situation. You will overcome by life and power made available in Christ and accessed by applying the power of His Word.
3. L – Limit Your Options:
You keep reaching for the familiar and falling back into old behaviors and patterns. New things happen when we do new things. I can’t guarantee it, but I am willing to be that when it comes to solving your problems you are a loner. In order to see new possibilities, you are going to have to let others in. Not just anybody else, but people who you see living their dreams. Discuss your challenges with them and despite how much your mind will tell you, “This won’t work!” change your behaviors.
You will keep returning to your old way of doing things as long as it remains a mentally and physically viable option. You must decide that there are mental rooms in your life that you will no longer visit and as much as is possible, change the physical options in your life as well.
4. P – Picture It:
Often in life, we are dissatisfied but we don’t know what will bring us satisfaction. That usually happens when we associate contentment with an emotional state, rather than a state and attitude of mind. So, first and foremost answer the following: How do you know you just exist? How will you know when you’re living?
Get out of the trap of waiting for something big to happen. While there are events in your life that have an appointed time, NOW is also an appointed time. Wisdom dictates that you find out what that appointment is. Every second of your life in its current state is filled with potential and power, all it takes is for you to realize that and life begins to change. This is not wasted time; it is a time of preparation.
Have a question you need answered? Email coachfelicia@eewmagazine.com.