My client told me about her “text” affair last year. I cautioned her that the only way out of it was to kill the relationship completely. I could tell she didn’t agree, as she described the scenarios in which it would be safe to maintain connection and contact. I knew she wanted to be free, but her desire to have her unyielded needs met competed with her desire to respect the vows in her marriage and in his. She didn’t want to let go, because she didn’t want to go back to being unfulfilled in some key areas of her life.
I could tell that she’d convinced herself it wasn’t an affair, because nothing physical happened. In her naïveté and let’s face it…selfishness…she has deluded herself into thinking that it is all “just” words. But the Word teaches us that words hold life and death. They are the beginning of a new reality. They are the predecessors to action. They change the world.
Having known her for a few years, I wondered how it could happen. But truthfully, her path is the same we all take when we desensitize ourselves to the Holy Spirit. When we sin, we are pricked and corrected. But, if we fail to submit to the correction and change our course, our hearts are hardened. The light in us becomes darkness—meaning, our thinking and ability to judge righteously is impaired.
If you shush your conscience long enough, it will become silent. In fact, after being ignored for a long time, your conscience will simply lie down and die. It will be too tired, too weak and too faint to warn you away from the impending and inevitable danger, just when you need it most.
If we are to overcome in this world and live as the examples that we are called to be, we must learn to value what God values, the way He values it. Regardless of where you are in your situation, God’s grace and His love are the way out. So whether you are at the beginning, in the middle or the end of a silenced conscience, here are a few tips to getting, and staying, on course:
1. Respond right away: When we mess up, we usually know it. Sometimes, our errors are glaringly clear. Then there are times where we simply feel uncomfortable about something we just said, thought or experienced. When that happens, don’t overlook it. Stop and take notice of your situation. Carefully listening and rightly dividing your situation could literally mean the difference between life and death. I once had a thankfully brief relationship with a brother who just couldn’t seem to get things together. During our first phone call he said something that made me uncomfortable because it gave me insight into his character. I chose to overlook it and pressed on. He showed me who He was; I didn’t want to believe him. A couple months and hundred dollars later, I knew that I should’ve listened the first time.
2. Let in the light!: The scripture says that the light in us is darkness when we operate outside the wisdom of God. When you are not walking according to the Word, it is dangerous to trust your own judgment. Why? Because your judgment is unsound and impaired. It is time for you to seek the counsel and protection of friends who have proven themselves to love you and demonstrate wisdom. It’s like drinking and driving drunk, when you’ve seared your conscience, it is time to pull to the side of the road and let someone else help you until you are able to responsibly handle the task at hand.
Quoted as one of today's leading motivational speakers by Essence magazine, Leadher Coach Scott™ shares life-changing truths with practical wisdom, humor and insight. Currently, also a columnist for StreamingFaith.com, her workshops and seminars are popular at women's, singles' and youth conferences. For more info, also visit feliciascott.com or www.upliftgroup.com. Follow her at www.twitter.com/coachfelicia.