A bi-weekly singles column by Ashley Peterson
I was sitting in bed surfing the Internet on my laptop, still in my nice warm pajamas when I first came across the Yahoo! News story that set off a media frenzy last week. It was the story of stories: “Kim Kardashian Files for Divorce from Kris Humphries after Only 72 Days!” Now, before you smack your teeth, click away from this article, grumble about “another Kim Kardashian story,” hear me out.
I know Kim K is no role model—particularly not for Christian women—but there is still a lesson that can be learned from her "mistake."
One of EEW Magazine’s readers named Anita Jackson wrote in and said, “As a 36-year-old single woman who loves God and is waiting patiently for my Boaz, I felt insulted and frustrated by this flagrant abuse of the sacred institution of marriage by Kim Kardashian. Here I am doing my best to live the single life God’s way and hold out for 'the one' only to see someone get married one day (in an approximately $10 million ceremony) and change their mind the next! Ugh!”
Our editors actually received quite a few email reactions to the Kim Kardashian situation with requests to address the happenings from a Christian perspective.
Tammy P. wrote, “To be quite honest, it felt like a kick in the teeth to watch a woman promise ‘til death do us part’ and renege just several weeks down the line because her feelings changed.”
It’s hard to argue with Tammy and Anita. There was no domestic violence involved. No extra-marital affair. No serious infraction. Just a sudden change of heart that caused a new bride to decide her marriage simply wasn’t worth fighting or caring about.
So what do I, the new Single, Saved, and Satisfied relationships columnist have to say about this whole thing?
Well, I am certainly not here to put Kim Kardashian on blast, because there are many people out there like her who are in love with the idea of marriage, but don’t want to put in the work. Really think about it. In American culture, we romanticize weddings. We are mesmerized by the pomp and circumstance surrounding such gala affairs. We love every bit of the glitz and glamor that accompanies those grand ceremonies designed to set the tone for the establishment of a sacred covenant between a man and woman. According to Nielsen Media Research, the Prince William-Kate Middleton ceremony drew nearly 22.8 million viewers in the United States, and was watched across 11 channels.
That's a lot of folks watching!
Kim Kardashian’s wedding event that was aired on E! News Network, though not record-breaking, reeled in more than 4 million viewers. Those numbers aren't too shabby. But it's too bad the “fairytale” wedding overshadowed the “real life” work of marriage—something many of us single ladies overlook in our overly romantic minds.
That’s why divorce is rampant, even among born-again believers. According to the most recent findings of The Barna Group, 26% of Evangelical Christians have been divorced. And the percentage gets higher among Non-evangelical born again Christians—33% to be exact.
Something has to change.
We have to fall out of love with weddings and fall in love with (1) the person God has chosen for us (2) every aspect of marriage, even the work involved in it.
I know how strong the allure of a special day that’s all about you and your happiness with your Prince Charming can be. So many single ladies go over details of their big day in their minds.
One of my girlfriends (Love you Yvette!) always tells me, Ashley, I can see the kind of dress I want; the color of the bridesmaids dresses; the type of cake I’ll have; even details of my tropical honeymoon. She has her Hope Chest and that sister is ready! And I’m not hating on that at all. That’s a good thing. But the best thing about Yvette is her seriousness about God; her prayer life; how she has chosen to honor God through celibacy until she walks down the aisle. She has decided to let God work on her character now so she’ll be ready for a spouse when the time is right.
Isn't this how all of us single sisters should be thinking? But sadly, Lord knows, we waste far too much time daydreaming about the wedding day rather than asking what it will actually take to make a marriage work.
But it's really time to ask that serious question now: am I really ready for marriage?
And instead of being heated about the Kim Kardashian spectacle, us single, saved, and satisfied sisters who read EEW Magazine need to be thankful for being able to witness it. In fact, if you put the events in the right perspective, they will help you re-focus on what matters the most.
It’s NOT the wedding, but what happens after the wedding that is most important.
Do you find yourself glamorizing the “idea” of marriage more than the actual biblical definitions of oneness, submission, and the hard work that comes along with that? I’d love to know how you feel about this. So leave me a comment below or email me at ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.
Ashley Peterson is a staff writer for EEW Magazine. Her goal is to discuss current issues related to single women and help them lead a single, saved, and satisfied like the way God intends. Email her at ashley.peterson@eewmagazine.com.