Don't Post That! Your Marriage Is Not 'Show And Tell'

Article By Margaret Bailey:: EEW Magazine Marriage

“That’s it. I’m getting a divorce,” read the message from a friend that popped up in my Facebook feed a few weeks ago.

Shocked, I clicked onto her page where the status update already had 25 likes and 15 comments—6 of which were her responses to the instant “What happened?” questions.

Although she never went into full detail, she did say to one poster, “If he can’t be faithful to me, maybe he needs to know how it feels to lose me.”

Enough said. Everyone who read it had an idea that infidelity, or at least suspicion of it, caused the public meltdown. It was a huge surprise, particularly because these two seemed so happy together, not just online but off the Internet too.

A few days later, after going silent on Facebook, she returned. That same day, her tell-all status was deleted and a picture of the couple looking happy, with a caption that said, “The man of my dreams. I love you baby,” was posted. The husband shared his own niceties, openly pouring on the compliments.

By then, however, even though the two had apparently resolved their differences, the reconciled love birds’ business was already in the Internet streets.

Most of us in the network of these two, just liked the lovey-dovey photo and left it that. But one of the more outspoken people replied, “This looks so contrived. So now you're all in love after he cheats on you? Okay, right.”

Knowing my friend, who is very forgiving, I was not quite so taken aback by the reconciliation as I was the public airing of the falling out. Unlike me, however, some were not convinced of the on-again relationship's authentic happiness. 

Though she had patched things up with her spouse, the irreparable damage to their reputation was done after the open admission of trouble in paradise.

This is the danger of over-sharing online. It only takes a minute to post a status, but a lifetime to live it down.

So no matter what you go through in your relationship, you must ask, "Is this the appropriate platform to strip naked so-to-speak in front of all these people I don't know that well (if at all)?" The Internet is not a diary. Certain things should be kept private.

Still, too much about the sacred unions of couples is laid bare on a daily basis.­

One of the most embarrassingly inappropriate things I’ve read lately is a wife snapping a picture of her serious-looking husband and saying, “Sorry, it’s that time of the month. See you in a week.”

Huh?

I feel humiliated writing it. So what possessed her to say it? Did we need to know that the Mr. and Mrs. weren’t knowing each other in the Bible way because “Aunt Flow” came to visit? I nearly gagged.

Still, there is probably nothing that can top the disturbing August 8 post by 31-year-old Derek Medina who murdered his 26-year-old wife Jennifer Alfonso and posted the grisly photo of her blood-covered, contorted body on his Facebook page.

Clearly, he was mentally disturbed.

For everyone else, though, what is with the TMI craziness? How have so many of us lost our way when it comes to discretion—specifically married couples?

Proverbs 2:11 says “Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.”

Godly wisdom is important for every one of life's matters, even how you handle the privacy of your relationship.

Be careful.

It may be easy to slip into the tell-too-much trap when tech companies do everything in their power to convince you to share, share, share. It requires discipline and understanding to know when, where, how, and what to disclose.

As a wife, keep some things sacred and if you must vent, be sure you are opening up to someone tried and true, and worthy of trust.

 Your Facebook friends, aside from a few, aren't really your friends.