There’s an old saying that goes, “You can run, but you can’t hide.” Trust me when I tell you that nothing better describes my relationship with my finances for most of my adult life.
In my college years and mid-twenties, I spent money like water trying to soothe the problems only Christ could solve. In my thirties, I finally woke up, but it was only to do the bare minimum of giving, paying my bills on time and saving for retirement. However, as I tip toe toward my forties—I’m facing down my financial fears.
For years, my financial goals were stalled.
I recently realized that my failure to set and achieve goals in this area of my life was not reflective of a lack of ambition, but rather a loss of confidence in my ability to qualify for my dreams. In short, it was a fear of insufficiency. A part of me didn’t really believe that I could qualify for the privilege of home ownership and financial freedom. This qualification couldn’t come from a bank or mortgage company; I’m talking about my belief in my ability to handle the task.
Regardless of how far my actions may have separated me from the mistakes of my past, my mind still lived in a place of fear. (I felt like the foolish college girl when it came to handling my money.) But in keeping with my one resolution to change the things I can, I’ve finally mustered up the courage to put it all down on paper!