I grew up believing that winners never quit. They hold on and stick it out. They don’t throw in the towel. All these things are true. But every message has a counterpoint that brings it into balance. It is true that winners never quit, but winners also know when it is time to let things go.
A conditioned athlete gets stronger by pushing their bodies to the limit and demanding more of themselves than they even believe they are capable of giving. But they are also trained to know that point – that fine line – that stands between endurance and injury. We all have a breaking point and if we push past it, we set ourselves up for failure each and every time. When we push past that win zone – we simply cannot win!
But how do you know when you’ve reached that point? How do you know when you’ve had enough? How do you know the difference between losing and letting go. Lately as I’ve evaluated my life and listened to the hearts of the people who influence my life…it has become clear that it is a season for change and renewal. But in order for change to come, some things have to go!
In order to decide what the next step is in your life, you must be clear on the difference between losing and letting go. When you lose something, it means you should have fought to keep it. When you let got, it means you have to fight to give it up.
Here are some things to look for when you are faced with the decision of your next course of action:
1. You’re losing when: Your motivation for giving it up is the fear of rejection or failure. Anything that matters must require that we put skin in the game. Whether it is a relationship or a business venture… your goal must stretch you. Discomfort is a part of the process. You will never know who you really are, until you are thrown into circumstances that require you to face your fears. We all have a comfort zone…an area where we move freely and are secure in our talents, efforts and abilities. Your next level of life will test what you think you know about yourself.
If you are giving up because you are afraid that you can’t do it, that is a sign that you need to keep pushing. Moving past your doubts will lead to growth and positive change. Staying in the game may be painful, but the win is yours.
2. You’re letting go when: You can’t imagine life without “it”, whatever “it” is. Whatever it is that you have to separate yourself from has become a point of identity for you. You’ve allowed that thing to define you. Everything in you wants things to stay the same, but deep down inside you know that until you leave it behind, you will never get to that next level of life. Deep down inside you know that staying the same is making you small; it is diminishing your spirit. You can only stay where you are, by being less of who you are! If you examine things closely and are honest with yourself, you will realize that staying doesn’t make you happy and only gives you a false sense of security.
If you are staying because you are afraid that you can’t do without it, but know you no longer need it, then that is a sign that you need to move on. The only action that will bring new possibilities into view and reach is letting go and moving on.
Live It! In order to determine whether it is a lose or let go situation for you, ask yourself the following: Why am I holding on? What do I feel when I think of making this change? What is the worst thing that could happen if I make this change? What will happen if I stay the same? Answer these questions, and then evaluate your answers based on the criteria above. Then be honest with yourself…will you win by staying or by letting go?