A Lesson from My “Phone Friend” : Drop Stereotypes & Branch Out in 2012

For nearly four years, Lina & I spoke on an almost daily basis.  She was a vendor for a company I worked with extensively.   We usually talked about work, but over time our conversations drifted to other topics in life.  Then one day, due to downsizing, Lina was laid off.  But, we still kept in touch via email and texting.  We eventually decided to meet for lunch and needless to say I was excited about putting a face to the voice. 

The morning of our meeting, Lina emailed me a picture so that I would recognize her when we met up.  As I stared at her picture, I couldn’t believe that  was Lina.  She looked nothing like the image I’d painted in my mind.  For years, I’d pictured a petite, energetic woman with brownish-blonde hair in her early 30’s.  But Lina wasn’t what I’d imagined.  Her voice was about 30 years her junior and her hair was a mass of gray.   While she was spry enough, she certainly wasn’t filled with energy and hobbled a little.  

As I looked at her picture, my excitement turned to mild trepidation.  I suddenly found myself wondering if the afternoon was going to be as fun as I’d imagined.  I envisioned us talking about being young and single, life in the city and our favorite restaurants.  It turned out that Lina was in a totally different phase of life.  Near retirement, she’d accepted being single, she rarely ventured from her suburb outside the city and eating out was not that exciting for her, because her taste buds were losing their power.  As we sat down to lunch, I still hadn’t shaken all of my reservations.  Thankfully the time passed quickly and I found myself looking forward to meeting up with Lina again.

Later on, I chided myself for my behavior.  Lina and I had been “phone friends” for years and I’d allowed my perception of her physical appearance to potentially affect our interactions.  She was older than me, so I’d assumed we wouldn’t have much in common.  I’d given more credence and weight to my perceptions, than to our actual interactions.

True enough, we didn’t talk about being single…but we found so much common ground, even in our differences.  She gifted me with a beautiful scarf that she’d crocheted.  While it didn’t inspire me to pick up a yarn and needles, it did inspire me to put my hand to a craft for fun.  We both shared stories about our nieces and nephews, and when it was all said and done…I walked away enriched by our interaction.

I believe that every experience in life is tied to a person.  We experience a variety of things with different people.  Our worlds are broadened and narrowed by the company we keep.  Our souls are either inspired or diminished by the people we let into our lives.

As we tiptoe into a New Year, I’d like to challenge you to go beyond your perceptions and stereotypes of others and expand your world by meeting new people.  Some of us have been praying for change in our relationships, health and careers.  The very changes we want may be tied to the people that we’ve decided we don’t want to know or meet because they defy our stereotypes and expectations. 

In scripture, David was clearly called to be king.  But, it is equally clear that his relationship with Jonathan was the conduit God used to help David fulfill his destiny. In the development of David we see the role the spiritual disciplines of prayer and devotion played in his growth.  However, we also see the very real role that relationships played as well.   

Live It!   Choose something you have always wanted to do or an activity that you enjoy.  Find a group of people or organization that will help you achieve your goal.  Set an appointment and go out there and allow God to do something different in your life in 2012!

 

Quoted as one of today's leading motivational speakers by Essence magazine, Leadher Coach Scott™ shares life-changing truths with practical wisdom, humor and insight. Currently, also  a columnist for StreamingFaith.com, her workshops and seminars are popular at women's, singles' and youth conferences.  For more info, also visit feliciascott.com or www.upliftgroup.com. Follow her at www.twitter.com/coachfelicia.