Article By Georgia Johnson:: EEW Magazine Marriage & Relationships
Why wait for a man when you can marry yourself? This was the rationale of a 40 year old bride, sans a groom.
Yasmin Eleby of Houston is being talked about around the world after rocking her purple gown and making vows to herself. But is this healthy?
“Not very many people knew it was a wedding. It was kind of a surprise. The invitations just said come celebrate my birthday in a unique way,” the now infamous “married” single lady said in an interview with The Root.
“I invited two of my exes. They were both happy for me. They were excited about it once they got there and realized what was happening.”
According to the San Antonio Express, the lavish ceremony was held at the Houston Museum of African American Culture on January 3. Eleby’s sister, also a minister, performed the spiritual service, as it is not legal to marry oneself.
On Facebook, Eleby said, “I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support that was shown to me during my celebration of love and life.”
But everyone wasn’t supportive of the idea.
Some who have gotten wind of the strange event have said bitterness and loneliness were at the root of her unconventional ceremony, but Eleby denies that is the case.
“The ceremony is not about me being bitter for not having a man. It wasn’t like, ‘OK, I’m upset that I’m 40 and don’t have a man.’ I wanted to show myself my self-love, my self-worth and my self-respect,” she explained.
“It was always about me loving me. When God sends me my husband, he will come, but until then, I’m OK with it just being with me.”
Perhaps it will be much easier for Mr. Right to find Ms. Eleby, since her name, face and story is now plastered all over the Internet.
Eleby’s decision has sparked major discussion with reactions ranging from “You go, girl!” to “That is ridiculous, girl!”
So what’s the deal? Is a wedding for one a beautiful display of self-love or self-pity masked as celebration?
Again, is it healthy?
While there is nothing wrong with validating y-o-u and looking out for #1, don’t rush out to get a gown and set your own wedding-for-one date.
Marriage, as designed by God, is intended for a man and woman to be spiritually joined together as one.
Besides, there are healthier (and far less expensive!) ways to treat yourself well.
Get a mani-pedi. Take yourself out to dinner. Go to your favorite movie, alone. Treat yourself to a shopping spree that honors your budget. Indulge in hot bubble bath with lit candles and soft jazz. Cook yourself a wholesome and delicious meal while playing some classical music.
Those are all things you can do to honor yourself and bring some enjoyment into your life.
But it is important to know that no outward displays of celebration or pampering will perform the internal, spiritual work required for true wholeness.
That can only be found in Christ.
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