Overcoming Psychological Abuse: Tyler Perry Shares His Story of Triumph, Encourages Others
Tuesday, July 31, 2012 at 9:41AM 
By LaWanda Wright/EEW Magazine Staff
What are your children’s teachers telling them? Like it or not, there are some abusive educators out there who stomp on kids’ dreams and esteem. In an email to his supporters, Christian media mogul Tyler Perry wrote, “When I was a kid, I had a teacher tell me that I would never be a millionaire because I was black and the system was set up to keep me down.”
Even then, he was in disbelief that his instructor, who should have been guiding, encouraging, and motivating him, was telling Young Perry what he couldn’t do.
The American Academy of Pediatrics published a new report online today and in the August print issue of Pediatrics which shows that hurtful and discouraging words have an unhealthy psychological impact on our children.
Emotional or psychological abuse is defined by the AAP as “a repeated pattern of behavior by a parent or caregiver that can be verbal or nonverbal, active or passive, intentional or unintentional, but is interpreted negatively by a child, and can result in developmental, social, emotional and academic problems.”
Making disparaging comments, name-calling, and painting a negative mental image in a child’s mind of themselves can happen in an educational institution with a bad teacher, or at home with an abusive parent. “Constantly belittling, threatening or ignoring children can be as damaging to their mental health as physical or sexual abuse,” says the pediatricians' group.
Studies in Britain and the United States estimate that 8 percent to 9 percent of women and 4 percent of men report severe psychological abuse during childhood.
Tyler Perry, who was psychologically, verbally, and physically abused by his father, in addition to being sexually molested by both a man and woman, by all accounts, should not be where he is today. His difficult history was enough to ruin him forever. But Perry says, “I’m so glad that my little boy mind didn’t accept that. I have often been told that I wouldn’t make it because I was poor or because of the color of my skin. I had family members tell me I would never make it and my dreams would never come true for one reason or another... boy were they wrong.”
The media mogul, who was recently named by Forbes as the richest man in entertainment, is telling others not to allow psychological maltreatment or discouragement from anyone to hold them back. “Follow that still small voice inside of you,” he advises. “That is GOD’s Holy Spirit and I think we all have the capacity to hear that voice. We just need to still ourselves to hear it. You must silence all the outside voices in order to hear THE voice. I try to stay as clear as I can so that I can hear it. It’s not always easy, but necessary.”
In the Bible, we find that Jesus was very loving toward and protective of children. He told his disciples in Matthew 19:14, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
Were you psychologically or verbally mishandled by caregivers, teachers, or loved ones growing up? If so, has it impacted you negatively in your life? What can we do to ensure that our children aren’t psychologically abused by outside parties like teachers, guidance counselors, and mentors?
Reader Comments (3)
i was. and i will note i am not married and neither is perry. the abuse i suffered is no excuse but im not gonna lie it has severely crippled my ability to have a healthly family and i believe God kept me from having children and marriage because of the abuse and wounds that still seem to linger. Perry is very successful but not healed completely b/c if he was i would see him in a healthy relationship. when your open to all kinds of abuse its nearly impossible to be vulerable and being open is the main thing in a marriage. just my opinion, maybe he just doesnt want that. but i know after seeing the abuse heaped on my mom, having a good relationship with men is huh REAL difficult. Oprah as well when you are victimized it makes trust near impossible. i have insecurities i wish would go away, but my fam sin was to dump on me when they were the ones who were sick, jealousy b/c they hated me and wanted to destroy me. they were almost sucessful BUT GOD. i wish perry the best and hopeful he will have a healthy relationship before he enters heaven.
I was sexually abused and that really affected me a lot. I don't have a relationship right now and have trust issues. I have been through counseling so I understand myself a whole lot more now. There is a psychological elment to abuse of any kind.
I was not physically or sexually abused as a child, but I was verbally abused by older cousins and had issues of being/feeling neglected by my parents. My parents were both teenagers when I was born, so I was raised by grandparents and aunts. I knew my parents, but didn't have a real relationship with either of them. That, in my opinion, led to several toxic relationships and trust issues. Although I am happily married now, it took a while to get here. Sometimes I still struggle with being vulnerable with my husband. Growing up,I was chubby and had really bad acne. So my cousins (both children and adults), would make fun of me. That led to alot of insecurities and low self-esteem, even as an adult. I would mask it by going above and beyond to be the smartest and the best-dressed woman in the room. With God's help, I was able to realize who I am as a person, a Christian and as a woman. I can honestly say that those days are behind me and I was able to rise above all of those hurtful things that inconsiderate adults threw my way! Hallelujah!! It was a hard journey, and I should not have had to go through it, but I made it! Let's please be mindful of our words to children and not be afraid to intervene when others are doing things that may crush a child's spirit!